Biting My Tongue...Or Keyboard...

There are things I want to say, but I don't. I keep quiet because I don't want to blatantly offend readers. Not that I have a ton of readers to offend, but the readers I do have might not like what I have to say on some topics.

There are drafts that have been in my lists of posts for ages...posts that I started but don't have the cojones to publish.

In the blogger world, I mostly only know "stay at home, Christian" moms. Most seem pretty conservative and never do posts about anything like politics, controversial social issues, beliefs other than Christianity, or booze.

I feel like there is digital pressure to keep the blog full of rainbows and butterflies. I love my husband. My children are adorable. Look at the cute cookies I made. We had a birthday party. Check out my cute purse. We are the perfect family.

Reality check.

Life hurts. It can be painful and leaves all of us scarred. Everyday isn't full of playgroups, perfect shoes, sunny weather, and best friends. There are moments when I want to smack my husband with whatever dirty dish he left on the coffee table. There are moments when I look at the destruction my children have done to my house and think, "I procreated for this?" Life is real and scary and dirty and hungry and beautiful without photoshop.

And I want to put it out there. I'm tired of duct taping my mouth keyboard. This is quite possibly the worst decision I have ever made, but I also know that this is the right decision for me. It's all going out into cyberspace...the good, the bad, the ugly...me.

Valentines...By E-Ro....

Since I am always 20 minutes late for everything, I decided to try to get on the ball for Valentine's Day. Part way through January I ordered a kit for Ella and Layton to make their own cards. We even sat down and started on them a few weeks early. Layton lasted all of 10 minutes on the project. Ella and I finished them without him.

They turned out so cute! Ella was very pleased with her work. :)

The nuggets will glue a piece of candy on each envelope, so it will be so adorable and yummy. The cards go in sweet envelopes sealed with heart stickers.

I cannot believe I actually took care of Valentine's Day cards before the 13th at 10:00PM. :) This is the first year in a long time that I have finished a class party item early.

Don't You Love to Look at Your Children?....

Sometimes, I look at a picture of the littles...even ones without their faces...and think how lucky I am. I have one big who doesn't like to have her picture made anymore and two littles who live in front of the camera.

I was flipping through some pictures from last year, and this one that Carla took just about made be giggle out loud from the cuteness. 

Random Observations from This Week...

1. The apple under the seat of my car has now mummified itself and no longer stinks. I am, in fact, too busy with other things to bother cleaning it up.

2. Dance twirl tryouts are Friday (whoops, today, scheduling posts again). Hadley is nervous about it; I am positively coming unglued over it, but I am making a huge effort to not let her see how I really feel about it.

3. I can sing Cee Lo Green's Forget You in my sleep. I have been singing it in my sleep thanks to Hadley's routine being set to that tune. We've only played it 864 times this week while she practices.

4. I've been trying to reduce the size of my a$$. The Postmaster General called to let me know what zip code has been assigned to the left side of my derriere. Oy vey. Yes, the acreage has increased to the point of requiring a zip code.

5. My friend Amanda noticed that I have lost a tiny smidgen of weight. I almost French kissed her and bought her a new house for noticing.

6. I finally finished the never ending tax return. It was one of those where information was missing, and I seriously could have found Jimmy Hoffa's body with more ease than which I found the necessary parts to this return.

7. Unfortunately, the client in question has more than one return to be done, and I have now started on the Never Ending Story Tax Return part II. Just so you know, the soundtrack is way better for this sequel...mostly because I am kicking Cee Lo the curb and am spending the morning with Fugazi and Jimmy Eat World.

8. I am obsessed with Green Bean Chips. They are yummy to me. I buy them at Earthfare.

9. I am wearing my Ugg boots to work. I don't care if they are not work appropriate. It's cold. My toes are cold. Maybe no one will notice. Right? Speaking of cold...it's supposed to only be in the 30s here this weekend. That is wicked cold for Bama. Thank goodness I bought warm boots last winter on clearance....after we had "once in a generation" snow.

10. I want laser hair removal on my armpits. No, really. I think I will ask for this for my birthday this year. Seriously. After hearing a first hand story about it, I am convinced that this is for me. I am see through. I am so white that if you look close, you can actually see all the veins in my body under the surface of my skin. My hair is dark. Dark, dark. No matter how much I shave, you can still see the roots of my pit-hair through my skin. When I was still twirling, I got called out a lot by other gals who would let me know that I needed to shave; it didn't matter that I had just shaved 30 minutes prior to that. I don't wear sleeveless shirts anymore because it is just too freaking embarrassing to leave the house looking like I haven't shaved since Clinton was in office. Well that, and the fact that my arms are jiggly.

11. I would love to be able to wear this dress. I know I could never pull off something like this and look decent, but that doesn't stop me from looking at it. :)

12. I may or may not have looked at the dirty dishes in the sink this morning and decided to throw away a few of them rather than wash them. Hey, sometimes, you need to clean out the old stuff. Shhh. Don't tell J.

13. I am looking forward to the weekend in a ridiculous way. I seriously cannot wait to sleep later than 6:00AM. We don't have plans. I will be working, but I'm going to work from home. I don't want to get out in the cold. Plus, I get more done when I can juggle the house and the kids in the same location. When I work on the weekends, Ella texts me so much that I can barely get anything done. :) Thank goodness I have a laptop.

14. I need a cocktail.

Love...

I love the way that Papa is completely entranced by his grandchildren. Ella was being silly and bouncing around, but Papa couldn't take his eyes off of her.

I am so unbelievably grateful to have wonderful grandparents for my children. Not everyone lucks out in the in-law department, but I sure did!

A Great...

My codependents are pretty lucky. They all got to have their picture made with their great-great-grandmother (on J's side). I used to joke that she would outlive everything but nuclear waste and Cher. Three of my four grandparents were still alive until after all of my littles were born. Both of J's grandmothers also lived long enough to see the majority of my littles. They have been fortunate enough to meet the generations that preceded them.

At the farm a while back, Great-Great Aunt Frances came to visit for an afternoon.

Ella had been cooking, and Layton had been playing outside. I made them stop for a moment for a picture of them with her. It's not everyday you get to see your Great-Great Aunt.

Ella prepared some appetizers and served us all. It was quite a treat.

Smiley Faces...

He smiles so much. He is just absolutely adorable. He falls asleep cuddling with me often. I love the way his breathing slows and becomes heavy when he sleeps. His hair is often a mess. He smells of detergent, milk, and sweat. Sweet little boy sweat. Not stinking big boy sweat. His skin is soft. His eyes are brown. His fingernails are always dirty.

He is mine. I am his.

Boots and Skinny Jeans...

Boots and skinny jeans are all Ella wants to wear these days. I bought her the superest, skinniest, jeans I could find. They were TINY! Ella is tinier though! The jeans were a colossal fail; there was enough excess fabric in the boot-ay to make a pair of shorts. She is the lankiest little thing I have ever seen. If I were to buy skinny jeans skinny enough to be skinny jeans, they would be 6 inches too short because they would be a size 2T. She is just lean. It is a blessed genetic quality that she got from the ole hubs. He's lanky too. :) I licked a french fry last Tuesday and couldn't zip my pants this morning as a result. I have a serious "junk in the trunk" situation going on, and I am so glad that Ella didn't get those genes. Anywhoodle, I am fairly certain that her current obsession with skinny jeans and boots is fueled by her best friends at school. They seem to be rocking that look a lot too.

We found a pair of jeggings that are almost as tight as she wants her skinny jeans to be, and we found the jeans she is wearing in the picture above. They have that clever adjustable waist thing going on. I had to wash the jeans in hot water and dry them on high and pull the elastic in the waistband all the way to the 5th button on each side....BUT....she has skinny jeans. Whew! If only putting that much effort into her skinny jeans would make me skinny! HAHAHAHAA!!

Or This One....

Ella worked the orange wig. She works this one even better. :)

Paging Lady GaGa...

Do you ever want to put on a wig and some dark glasses and hide out?

Yeah, me too. Ella just happens to pull it off with so much class. She is my incognito inspiration. :)

A Few Answers...

When you put your entire life on the interwebs, you get questions from time to time. Some questions are asked repeatedly. So, here are the questions that you ask...and my less than stellar replies.


How do you find time to blog everyday? 

The truth? I don't. I rarely blog more than once a week. I sit down every few weeks and schedule posts for future dates. In fact, this post was written more than two weeks before you will see it on the blog. I use Picasa to keep track of my pictures, and the ones I want to blog about are saved as drafts directly from Picasa. I just click a button to make it happen. The drafts sit in my posts list until I get around to fleshing them out. Sometimes I will use the blogger app on my cell phone to "impromtu publish" a post if something strikes me as blog worthy during the day...like the hungover, single mom at the dentist's office. She deserved a post.

Is what I see on the blog really what your family is like?

Yes. Let me repeat that. YES. My children really are as comical, messy, and unique as they seem in blog posts. The hubs said it best at a wedding last year. "Her blog is genuine. It's genuinely what the kids are like." Of course, I don't publish every story about the kids and me. I specifically choose to leave out the stories involving me melting down on the pasta aisle at Publix. Or the time I threw a tricycle out the back door. BUT, the stories about the hilarious-ness of my codependents? It's what we're like.

Do you live in Athens?

Dude, seriously. You would not believe how often someone emails or leaves a comment asking if I live in Athens because the background of some of my pictures resemble downtown Athens. "I drove through Athens once. Your downtown looks a lot like Athens. Do you live there by chance?" For the record, yes, we live in Athens, Alabama. Not Georgia. Not Greece. Alabama. Hence the grammatical errors and obvious lack of IQ points on my part. If you heard me talk, the drawl would literally make you think I am barely above functional retardation.


What kind of camera do you have?

A Canon 60D.

Why do you blog?

Honestly, it kind of started as a joke between Jay and me. I just kept doing it. Somewhere along the way I realized that I could use the blog to document my family's events and activities. It has become a scrapbook of our lives and an autobiography of sorts. It's fun to go back and read posts from years ago to see how I have changed over the years.

Do you want to be a professional blogger?

Who the hell wouldn't?!?! Sure, it would be great to sit around the house in my pajamas while the kids are at school and type blog posts all day. Realistically, probably not. The pressure of having to come up with new material all the time would freak me out! I can barely scrape together enough words to post once a day or every other day. And the words only form once or twice a month. That being said, I do like it when I am asked to do a giveaway or get paid for an ad. It's kind of fun to make a little money off my hobby.

Did you always want to have three children?

Loaded question. I get asked a lot. No, I didn't want to have any children. That didn't change for me until I actually had a child. It's true. Every time I was pregnant, I didn't think I could do it. I didn't think I could have happy children. If I could go back and blog my high school years, you would be shocked. I was so dang uptight and driven, and I wasn't that way because I wanted to be; it's how I thought I had to be. I spent so much time trying to be perfect and make my parents happy that I had no idea who I really was. I spent all day every day trying to fit myself into a ticky tacky box - a box I now know just can't hold someone like me. I have always been outside the box. I just didn't know it until I was grown and married and already had children. Honestly, there is a part of me that thinks it would be nice to have another child at some point, and then there is my brain screaming, "YOU FOOL! RUN!"

Is your movie knowledge really that pathetic? 


Ok, no one actually asked that question, but I threw it in for C-O-D and J. :)


Happy day, friends!!

Things to See...

It's not a super fancy telescope, but we don't use it to look at stars. 

One, Two, Let It Rip...

Layton is obsessed with Beyblades. I really don't understand what they are. Some kind of top thingy that hooks up to this other thingy that helps them spin like crazy. Obviously, I need to read up on it more. There are cartoons about it. It's what I hear is called Anime. All I know is that there isn't any profanity, and I can get a ton of episodes on Netflix for little man to watch.

Layton plays Beyblade every chance he gets, and he forces everyone around him to participate. Before you pull the rip cord, you have to say...One..Two...Let it..Rip. That's how Layton insist we play Beyblade. Day in. Day out. We battle in the metal fusion arena. 

Whoopsy Daisy...

I like to learn. If I could get paid to be a full time student, well, that would be the job for me. There are a number of things that I have made an effort to learn on my own over the years. Making bows for presents. That turned out okay. Juggling apples and oranges. Far too easy after learning to juggle batons.

But my camera. My stupid camera. It is literally taking me ages to learn to shoot in manual. I forget to change the ISO when I go from inside to outside and wind up with shots like this.

Or I forget to change it when I go back inside after I finally noticed that I had it set wonky outside. I refuse to believe that I will have to turn the stinking dial back to the green rectangle. I'm not going to do it. I am going to learn to do this. Until then, I will continue to take 300 pictures at a time with only 12 of them being usable. Practice makes perfect, and by golly, one of these days, I will get it right.

Ella Turned the Tables...

As is often the case the with Ella, she managed to make me see how she feels after the program at school.

She grabbed Mama Kaye's camera and turned it toward us. Hmmm. I'm not sure I like having the camera in my face. Imagine how my poor children feel with my camera in their faces all the time. No really. ALL THE TIME. I might need to step away from the SD card.

My Girl at the Play...

She refuses to smile much these days because she has lost so many teeth. For some reason she is worried that she looks ugly without her front teeth.

Ella's Class "Play"....

Ella had her play a few weeks ago. The them was Education Rocks.

I'm not one to complain about not having to be super involved with school projects because I work full time this time of year, but I didn't do anything to help Ella get ready for this play. Well, I use the term play loosely here. It was actually all four classes on a set of risers. They sang a bunch of different songs. That was it. It wasn't a play at all. It was more like a musical program.
I remember when I was in elementary school, we did full out productions as plays. There were lines to memorize and costumes to make. I sent $5 for Ella's orange t-shirt, and Ella practiced the songs at school. I understand that school is supposed to be a time for learning and growth, but I kind of feel like the children are getting the short end of the stick. They spend so much time doing "No Child Left Behind" paperwork and other academic projects that the fun is gone from class plays.
FACT: No one has ever once asked me if I passed 3rd grade math before handing me their tax return.
FACT: I have been asked more than once if I have ever been in a play.
In my opinion there is value in a class play.

Let's take a poll. Who misses the days of school plays?

Make Some Memories...

The winner of the My Memories digital scrapbooking software is....TINA!!! Shoot me an email, and I will reply with instructions for how to download your free software!!

Busy Days and Nights...

The days have been painfully busy lately. Tax season is in full swing. It's good that tax season begins when the weather is crappy because if the weather was nice, I'd want to spend every last minute of my evenings and weekends in the sun with this little man.

I will be working basically full time during tax season and return to my lazy bum hours during the off season. Tax season has been okay so far. It's definitely been busy and a lot more work than I had gotten used to, but there is a wonderful support system in place. I'm also excited that two of my friends (not like work friends, but people I was already friends with before we became coworkers) work at the same place. It makes the stress of tax season melt away to just take five and chit chat about babies or clothes.

I should get to work, so I can spend more time kissing little man's cheeks. :)

Randoms Thoughts and Observations from Today...

Today was the deadline for w-2s and 1099s. I got a gazillion texts and emails. Have I replied? No. Will I? Yes, at some point.

When I got gas (on my way to meet a Huntsville client at County Line Road. Talk about full service accounting), the attendant said I had a cheerleader face. I have no idea what that means, but it made me feel happy. I never thought of myself as having a cheerleader face...even when I was a cheerleader in junior high. I was the dowdy one.

There is chicken in my hair. I didn't notice it until after I had been running around like a crazy lady. I might have been eating lunch while processing w-2s and 1099s. If you get yours and it smells slightly like Steak-Out, my bad.

I think I have suffered catastrophic deodorant failure. Nuff said.

I took my shoes off because the heels were killing my feet. No one seems to have noticed that I am three inches shorter...and walking around the office in trouser sock feet.

I missed the Spirit of Athens awards luncheon due to the deadline craze. :( That made me sad, but I know that working a lot during this tax season means I will have more time to devote to things like Spirit of Athens after April.

 My pantry is dangerously low on food. The codependents have begun to act like feral children as a result. Layton may have tried gnawing on Ella's thighbone to get some nourishment. She's a wiry thing, so he's still hungry.

There might be a half eaten apple under the driver's seat of my car. At least, I hope that smell is an apple and not something far messier to clean up.

I have become irrationally boundary free on the blog.

Definitely Not My House...

This picture was definitely not taken inside my house, but I wish my house looked more like this. :)

Silly Face...With No Teeth...

I know a woman who moved here from St. Louis. On her last day of work near the Gateway Arch, her coworkers threw a going away party for her. The gifts she received included an empty shoe box and an empty tube of toothpaste. Living in Alabama requires no shoes or teeth....at least...that's the perception in other parts of the country. :) Ella has recently started to embody the Alabama stereotype.

Sunshine Daydream...

The weather here has been crazy lately. For about two weeks I thought we had moved to Seattle. It was rainy and dreary like you would not believe. It's been cold. Warmer. Cold. Warmer. An absolute nightmare to plan for clothing wise. Take yesterday. It was freezing when I got up to go to work. Then by the time lunch came around, I met up with Jay and the kids and was fine without my coat. By the time the sun set, I needed my warm coat again. I have no clue how to properly dress the littles for school.

I am feverish for some good weather. :) How about you?

Eating Bread...

These chickens are a lot like me.

They eat a lot of bread. :) I have always been a sucker for bread products. I love a roll. Oh, biscuits. Oh heaven, yeast and white flour. Word to ya motha. I love some carbs. I could eat Layton's weight in Logan's rolls. I could eat 15 biscuits for breakfast. I think I did yesterday. Luvici's serves their dinner rolls with honey butter. Don't even ask how many I ate the last time I was there. It was ugly.

The thing is that all of the carbs I love are off limits to Layton. Being a gluten-free person can be tough. I know I shouldn't eat as much enriched flour as I do, but it's like I can't make myself stop.

Do any of you have any food addictions?

Straight Up in Love...

I am completely obsessed with these Tory Burch boots. 

The Selma.

I will not, however, spend $495.00 on a pair of boots. That's just a little too obscene for me. So, I looked around on the interwebs (hoping to find a ridiculous sale) for a while and came across ioffer.com. Is this website for real? Because some man  in China is willing to sell these boots for $120.00...at least that's what his history says. Surely not. Right? They have to be knockoffs. $120.00?? Seems too good to be true. I'm a somewhat naive person in a lot of ways. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I'm always shocked when I find out that someone I know doesn't have a moral compass that points North. As J would say....I am allergic to seeing bad in other people. That's precisely why I will end up chopped to bits and left in a ditch someday after stopping to help change a tire.
So......
I come to all you, my faithful readers (Hi J). Have you ever ordered anything from ioffer? Have you ever sent a money order to China? Does China even accept money orders?

Warm Glowing Lights...

These warm glowing lights have me dreaming of Spring. My favorite time of year. I love it when the weather is not too hot for a camp fire but not too cold for short sleeves. MMMM. Yes, I am ready for Spring.

UPDATE....Since no one really entered this giveaway, I'm going to extend it until Monday, January 30th!!


I have been using this blog as a way to scrapbook our lives for quite some time now. I just never thought of myself as someone who was good at scrap booking, so this seemed like an easy alternative for me. I'm short on time because of work and the demands of having three children in school with after school activities. About a week ago, I discovered digital scrapbooking software. It seemed like something I might be able to do, so I investigated further. I took about 10 minutes to draft a sample page.

It was so easy! There are tons of backgrounds, templates, fonts, and more to choose from. Even an accountant like me can come up with a beautiful page or album. I'm so impressed with the software that www.mymemories.com has available that I'm going to give away a copy of My Memories Suite! Well, actually, Liz at My Memories gave me a copy to give away!

Do you love to scrapbook and want a chance to win? Or are you looking for a way to keep a record of your family's activities but don't know where to start? Let me help... :) It's easy to enter this giveaway. Here's how:

1. Go to www.mymemories.com and pick your favorite album template. Leave a comment letting me know which one you liked best.

2.Become a follower of this blog. I'll see your pretty new face right over there---------->>>>>


3. Like My Memories on Facebook- http://www.facebook.com/pages/MyMemories/140359372717593 Leave me a comment letting me know you did.



That's all there is to it! You can enter as many times as you'd like until Monday, January 23, 2012. I will pick the winner randomly the next day.

And just because I am feeling extra warm and gooey (translation: the nice people at My Memories said my readers deserved it), I'll give you $10 off any purchase you make from My Memories...



Promo Code: STMMMS74707
Enter in above code during online checkout


Good Luck!!!!!