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Monday, February 13, 2012

Biting My Tongue...Or Keyboard...

There are things I want to say, but I don't. I keep quiet because I don't want to blatantly offend readers. Not that I have a ton of readers to offend, but the readers I do have might not like what I have to say on some topics.

There are drafts that have been in my lists of posts for ages...posts that I started but don't have the cojones to publish.

In the blogger world, I mostly only know "stay at home, Christian" moms. Most seem pretty conservative and never do posts about anything like politics, controversial social issues, beliefs other than Christianity, or booze.

I feel like there is digital pressure to keep the blog full of rainbows and butterflies. I love my husband. My children are adorable. Look at the cute cookies I made. We had a birthday party. Check out my cute purse. We are the perfect family.

Reality check.

Life hurts. It can be painful and leaves all of us scarred. Everyday isn't full of playgroups, perfect shoes, sunny weather, and best friends. There are moments when I want to smack my husband with whatever dirty dish he left on the coffee table. There are moments when I look at the destruction my children have done to my house and think, "I procreated for this?" Life is real and scary and dirty and hungry and beautiful without photoshop.

And I want to put it out there. I'm tired of duct taping my mouth keyboard. This is quite possibly the worst decision I have ever made, but I also know that this is the right decision for me. It's all going out into cyberspace...the good, the bad, the ugly...me.