1. Ella may have a shoe addiction. She just got two new pairs of tennis shoes and is now begging for a pair of Toms. I may have to find a second job just to pay for all her shoes.
2. There are no words to describe how grateful I am for all the kind comments on my post about Hadley and the dance twirl tryouts. I have been telling everyone how beautiful I am; it's ya'll's fault for saying she is beautiful...and looks just like me....what else was I supposed to infer?
3. I found something so disgusting in the refrigerator this week that I almost threw up a little in my mouth. And then...I spilled the yuck on the floor trying to get it to the garbage can. True, I was holding the can as far away from my nose as possible and had my head turned while walking...it was a mess that could have been avoided. What was it? It was a half empty can of pear halves that I had meant to eat for lunch the day after I opened it. Instead it turned into some kind of black smelly liquid. For reals.
4. I really should have my eyebrows waxed. I've been plucking them since 1994 when a wax job went askew, and I ended up with flat lines for brows. It scarred me. Now, I rarely remember to pluck. Feel free to call me swarthy the next time you see me.
5. Speaking of hair. I haven't had a haircut since April...wait for it...of 2011. Maybe I should look into taking care of that.
6. I pulled a muscle on Valentine's Day. No, not from a sexy Valentine's event. I had to take drinks and bingo to Ella and Layton's class parties. All of us moms at their elementary school are helicopter moms, so there were no less than 100 cars in the parking lot. I parked all of 19,000 square acres away from the school and didn't want to make two trips to carry in the capri suns and bingo sets, so I tried to get all of it in at once. When I reached to open the door (while precariously balancing boxes and bags and cameras), I felt it. It was soooo awful. I honestly thought I was going to vomit from the pain. I couldn't turn my head or lift my arm for 2 days. I'm better now, but I have been smelling like Bengay and chewing up Advil like tic tacs.
7. Hadley walked through the kitchen the other morning and said I smelled like Wint-o-greens. I told her it was Bengay. Being the sassed mouth pre-teen that she is, she said, "Who's Ben and why are you calling him gay?" I didn't bother with a retort.
8. True confession. I didn't wash my hair for two days after the notorious muscle pull. I did spray some perfume on it though. Whoops. I rocked a ridiculous pony tail. Mostly because it was the best I could do with my one good arm.
9. I wore a pair of jeans last weekend that I haven't been able to zip in more than a year. It was a good moment. Well, it was lovely until I realized I had some serious muffin top action going on. It's all good...I wore a tunic.
10. Layton totally sharted earlier this week. Don't even act like you don't know what that is. We both know you are mortified that I put it on the blog...for Layton's sake.
11. I may or may not have used all purpose cleaner as a substitute for detergent when I ran out earlier this week. Hell, I wasn't going to leave sharty underwear sitting around until I bought more detergent.
12. I lost the remote to my garage door opener. J got clever and ordered more from the interwebs. Of course the original clicker turned up a few days after the replacement came. So, I stuck the original in a kitchen cabinet in case we ever needed it.
13. I have a crush on Matt Bomer. He's all kinds of adorable.
14. I was perplexed by the garage door opening and closing by itself. Every single time I unloaded the dishwasher. Then I remembered number 12. My bad.