The Enabler and Her Codependents

Biting My Tongue...Or Keyboard...

2012-02-13T01:21:00.000-06:00

There are things I want to say, but I don't. I keep quiet because I don't want to blatantly offend readers. Not that I have a ton of readers to offend, but the readers I do have might not like what I have to say on some topics.

There are drafts that have been in my lists of posts for ages...posts that I started but don't have the cojones to publish.

In the blogger world, I mostly only know "stay at home, Christian" moms. Most seem pretty conservative and never do posts about anything like politics, controversial social issues, beliefs other than Christianity, or booze.

I feel like there is digital pressure to keep the blog full of rainbows and butterflies. I love my husband. My children are adorable. Look at the cute cookies I made. We had a birthday party. Check out my cute purse. We are the perfect family.

Reality check.

Life hurts. It can be painful and leaves all of us scarred. Everyday isn't full of playgroups, perfect shoes, sunny weather, and best friends. There are moments when I want to smack my husband with whatever dirty dish he left on the coffee table. There are moments when I look at the destruction my children have done to my house and think, "I procreated for this?" Life is real and scary and dirty and hungry and beautiful without photoshop.

And I want to put it out there. I'm tired of duct taping my ~~mouth~~ keyboard. This is quite possibly the worst decision I have ever made, but I also know that this is the right decision for me. It's all going out into cyberspace...the good, the bad, the ugly...me.

Valentines...By E-Ro....

2012-02-12T01:21:00.000-06:00

Since I am always 20 minutes late for everything, I decided to try to get on the ball for Valentine's Day. Part way through January I ordered a kit for Ella and Layton to make their own cards. We even sat down and started on them a few weeks early. Layton lasted all of 10 minutes on the project. Ella and I finished them without him.

They turned out so cute! Ella was very pleased with her work. :)

The nuggets will glue a piece of candy on each envelope, so it will be so adorable and yummy. The cards go in sweet envelopes sealed with heart stickers.

I cannot believe I actually took care of Valentine's Day cards before the 13th at 10:00PM. :) This is the first year in a long time that I have finished a class party item early.

Don't You Love to Look at Your Children?....

2012-02-11T01:21:00.000-06:00

Sometimes, I look at a picture of the littles...even ones without their faces...and think how lucky I am. I have one big who doesn't like to have her picture made anymore and two littles who live in front of the camera.

I was flipping through some pictures from last year, and this one that Carla took just about made be giggle out loud from the cuteness.

Random Observations from This Week...

2012-02-10T13:22:00.000-06:00

1. The apple under the seat of my car has now mummified itself and no longer stinks. I am, in fact, too busy with other things to bother cleaning it up.

2. Dance twirl tryouts are Friday (whoops, today, scheduling posts again). Hadley is nervous about it; I am positively coming unglued over it, but I am making a huge effort to not let her see how I really feel about it.

3. I can sing Cee Lo Green's Forget You in my sleep. I have been singing it in my sleep thanks to Hadley's routine being set to that tune. We've only played it 864 times this week while she practices.

4. I've been trying to reduce the size of my a$$. The Postmaster General called to let me know what zip code has been assigned to the left side of my derriere. Oy vey. Yes, the acreage has increased to the point of requiring a zip code.

5. My friend Amanda noticed that I have lost a tiny smidgen of weight. I almost French kissed her and bought her a new house for noticing.

6. I finally finished the never ending tax return. It was one of those where information was missing, and I seriously could have found Jimmy Hoffa's body with more ease than which I found the necessary parts to this return.

7. Unfortunately, the client in question has more than one return to be done, and I have now started on the Never Ending ~~Story~~ Tax Return part II. Just so you know, the soundtrack is way better for this sequel...mostly because I am kicking Cee Lo the curb and am spending the morning with Fugazi and Jimmy Eat World.

8. I am obsessed with Green Bean Chips. They are yummy to me. I buy them at Earthfare.

9. I am wearing my Ugg boots to work. I don't care if they are not work appropriate. It's cold. My toes are cold. Maybe no one will notice. Right? Speaking of cold...it's supposed to only be in the 30s here this weekend. That is wicked cold for Bama. Thank goodness I bought warm boots last winter on clearance....after we had "once in a generation" snow.

10. I want laser hair removal on my armpits. No, really. I think I will ask for this for my birthday this year. Seriously. After hearing a first hand story about it, I am convinced that this is for me. I am see through. I am so white that if you look close, you can actually see all the veins in my body under the surface of my skin. My hair is dark. Dark, dark. No matter how much I shave, you can still see the roots of my pit-hair through my skin. When I was still twirling, I got called out a lot by other gals who would let me know that I needed to shave; it didn't matter that I had just shaved 30 minutes prior to that. I don't wear sleeveless shirts anymore because it is just too freaking embarrassing to leave the house looking like I haven't shaved since Clinton was in office. Well that, and the fact that my arms are jiggly.

11. I would love to be able to wear this dress. I know I could never pull off something like this and look decent, but that doesn't stop me from looking at it. :)

12. I may or may not have looked at the dirty dishes in the sink this morning and decided to throw away a few of them rather than wash them. Hey, sometimes, you need to clean out the old stuff. Shhh. Don't tell J.

13. I am looking forward to the weekend in a ridiculous way. I seriously cannot wait to sleep later than 6:00AM. We don't have plans. I will be working, but I'm going to work from home. I don't want to get out in the cold. Plus, I get more done when I can juggle the house and the kids in the same location. When I work on the weekends, Ella texts me so much that I can barely get anything done. :) Thank goodness I have a laptop.

14. I need a cocktail.

Love...

2012-02-10T01:21:00.000-06:00

I love the way that Papa is completely entranced by his grandchildren. Ella was being silly and bouncing around, but Papa couldn't take his eyes off of her.

I am so unbelievably grateful to have wonderful grandparents for my children. Not everyone lucks out in the in-law department, but I sure did!

A Great...

2012-02-09T01:21:00.001-06:00

My codependents are pretty lucky. They all got to have their picture made with their great-great-grandmother (on J's side). I used to joke that she would outlive everything but nuclear waste and Cher. Three of my four grandparents were still alive until after all of my littles were born. Both of J's grandmothers also lived long enough to see the majority of my littles. They have been fortunate enough to meet the generations that preceded them.

At the farm a while back, Great-Great Aunt Frances came to visit for an afternoon.

Ella had been cooking, and Layton had been playing outside. I made them stop for a moment for a picture of them with her. It's not everyday you get to see your Great-Great Aunt.

Ella prepared some appetizers and served us all. It was quite a treat.

Smiley Faces...

2012-02-08T01:21:00.001-06:00

He smiles so much. He is just absolutely adorable. He falls asleep cuddling with me often. I love the way his breathing slows and becomes heavy when he sleeps. His hair is often a mess. He smells of detergent, milk, and sweat. Sweet little boy sweat. Not stinking big boy sweat. His skin is soft. His eyes are brown. His fingernails are always dirty.

He is mine. I am his.

Boots and Skinny Jeans...

2012-02-08T01:21:00.000-06:00

Boots and skinny jeans are all Ella wants to wear these days. I bought her the superest, skinniest, jeans I could find. They were TINY! Ella is tinier though! The jeans were a colossal fail; there was enough excess fabric in the boot-ay to make a pair of shorts. She is the lankiest little thing I have ever seen. If I were to buy skinny jeans skinny enough to be skinny jeans, they would be 6 inches too short because they would be a size 2T. She is just lean. It is a blessed genetic quality that she got from the ole hubs. He's lanky too. :) I licked a french fry last Tuesday and couldn't zip my pants this morning as a result. I have a serious "junk in the trunk" situation going on, and I am so glad that Ella didn't get those genes. Anywhoodle, I am fairly certain that her current obsession with skinny jeans and boots is fueled by her best friends at school. They seem to be rocking that look a lot too.

We found a pair of jeggings that are almost as tight as she wants her skinny jeans to be, and we found the jeans she is wearing in the picture above. They have that clever adjustable waist thing going on. I had to wash the jeans in hot water and dry them on high and pull the elastic in the waistband all the way to the 5th button on each side....BUT....she has skinny jeans. Whew! If only putting that much effort into her skinny jeans would make me skinny! HAHAHAHAA!!

Or This One....

2012-02-07T21:31:00.000-06:00

Ella worked the orange wig. She works this one even better. :)

Paging Lady GaGa...

2012-02-07T01:21:00.000-06:00

Do you ever want to put on a wig and some dark glasses and hide out?

Yeah, me too. Ella just happens to pull it off with so much class. She is my incognito inspiration. :)

A Few Answers...

2012-02-06T01:21:00.000-06:00

When you put your entire life on the interwebs, you get questions from time to time. Some questions are asked repeatedly. So, here are the questions that you ask...and my less than stellar replies.

How do you find time to blog everyday?

The truth? I don't. I rarely blog more than once a week. I sit down every few weeks and schedule posts for future dates. In fact, this post was written more than two weeks before you will see it on the blog. I use Picasa to keep track of my pictures, and the ones I want to blog about are saved as drafts directly from Picasa. I just click a button to make it happen. The drafts sit in my posts list until I get around to fleshing them out. Sometimes I will use the blogger app on my cell phone to "impromtu publish" a post if something strikes me as blog worthy during the day...like the hungover, single mom at the dentist's office. She deserved a post.

Is what I see on the blog really what your family is like?

Yes. Let me repeat that. YES. My children really are as comical, messy, and unique as they seem in blog posts. The hubs said it best at a wedding last year. "Her blog is genuine. It's genuinely what the kids are like." Of course, I don't publish every story about the kids and me. I specifically choose to leave out the stories involving me melting down on the pasta aisle at Publix. Or the time I threw a tricycle out the back door. BUT, the stories about the hilarious-ness of my codependents? It's what we're like.

Do you live in Athens?

Dude, seriously. You would not believe how often someone emails or leaves a comment asking if I live in Athens because the background of some of my pictures resemble downtown Athens. "I drove through Athens once. Your downtown looks a lot like Athens. Do you live there by chance?" For the record, yes, we live in Athens, Alabama. Not Georgia. Not Greece. Alabama. Hence the grammatical errors and obvious lack of IQ points on my part. If you heard me talk, the drawl would literally make you think I am barely above functional retardation.

What kind of camera do you have?

A Canon 60D.

Why do you blog?

Honestly, it kind of started as a joke between Jay and me. I just kept doing it. Somewhere along the way I realized that I could use the blog to document my family's events and activities. It has become a scrapbook of our lives and an autobiography of sorts. It's fun to go back and read posts from years ago to see how I have changed over the years.

Do you want to be a professional blogger?

Who the hell wouldn't?!?! Sure, it would be great to sit around the house in my pajamas while the kids are at school and type blog posts all day. Realistically, probably not. The pressure of having to come up with new material all the time would freak me out! I can barely scrape together enough words to post once a day or every other day. And the words only form once or twice a month. That being said, I do like it when I am asked to do a giveaway or get paid for an ad. It's kind of fun to make a little money off my hobby.

Did you always want to have three children?

Loaded question. I get asked a lot. No, I didn't want to have any children. That didn't change for me until I actually had a child. It's true. Every time I was pregnant, I didn't think I could do it. I didn't think I could have happy children. If I could go back and blog my high school years, you would be shocked. I was so dang uptight and driven, and I wasn't that way because I wanted to be; it's how I thought I had to be. I spent so much time trying to be perfect and make my parents happy that I had no idea who I really was. I spent all day every day trying to fit myself into a ticky tacky box - a box I now know just can't hold someone like me. I have always been outside the box. I just didn't know it until I was grown and married and already had children. Honestly, there is a part of me that thinks it would be nice to have another child at some point, and then there is my brain screaming, "YOU FOOL! RUN!"

Is your movie knowledge really that pathetic?

Ok, no one actually asked that question, but I threw it in for C-O-D and J. :)

Happy day, friends!!

Things to See...

2012-02-05T01:21:00.000-06:00

It's not a super fancy telescope, but we don't use it to look at stars.

One, Two, Let It Rip...

2012-02-04T01:21:00.000-06:00

Layton is obsessed with Beyblades. I really don't understand what they are. Some kind of top thingy that hooks up to this other thingy that helps them spin like crazy. Obviously, I need to read up on it more. There are cartoons about it. It's what I hear is called Anime. All I know is that there isn't any profanity, and I can get a ton of episodes on Netflix for little man to watch.

Layton plays Beyblade every chance he gets, and he forces everyone around him to participate. Before you pull the rip cord, you have to say...One..Two...Let it..Rip. That's how Layton insist we play Beyblade. Day in. Day out. We battle in the metal fusion arena.

Whoopsy Daisy...

2012-02-03T01:21:00.000-06:00

I like to learn. If I could get paid to be a full time student, well, that would be the job for me. There are a number of things that I have made an effort to learn on my own over the years. Making bows for presents. That turned out okay. Juggling apples and oranges. Far too easy after learning to juggle batons.

But my camera. My stupid camera. It is literally taking me ages to learn to shoot in manual. I forget to change the ISO when I go from inside to outside and wind up with shots like this.

Or I forget to change it when I go back inside after I finally noticed that I had it set wonky outside. I refuse to believe that I will have to turn the stinking dial back to the green rectangle. I'm not going to do it. I am going to learn to do this. Until then, I will continue to take 300 pictures at a time with only 12 of them being usable. Practice makes perfect, and by golly, one of these days, I will get it right.

Ella Turned the Tables...

2012-02-02T22:03:00.000-06:00

As is often the case the with Ella, she managed to make me see how she feels after the program at school.

She grabbed Mama Kaye's camera and turned it toward us. Hmmm. I'm not sure I like having the camera in my face. Imagine how my poor children feel with my camera in their faces all the time. No really. ALL THE TIME. I might need to step away from the SD card.

My Girl at the Play...

2012-02-02T10:02:00.000-06:00

She refuses to smile much these days because she has lost so many teeth. For some reason she is worried that she looks ugly without her front teeth.

Ella's Class "Play"....

2012-02-02T01:21:00.000-06:00

Ella had her play a few weeks ago. The them was Education Rocks.

I'm not one to complain about not having to be super involved with school projects because I work full time this time of year, but I didn't do anything to help Ella get ready for this play. Well, I use the term play loosely here. It was actually all four classes on a set of risers. They sang a bunch of different songs. That was it. It wasn't a play at all. It was more like a musical program.
I remember when I was in elementary school, we did full out productions as plays. There were lines to memorize and costumes to make. I sent $5 for Ella's orange t-shirt, and Ella practiced the songs at school. I understand that school is supposed to be a time for learning and growth, but I kind of feel like the children are getting the short end of the stick. They spend so much time doing "No Child Left Behind" paperwork and other academic projects that the fun is gone from class plays.
FACT: No one has ever once asked me if I passed 3rd grade math before handing me their tax return.
FACT: I have been asked more than once if I have ever been in a play.
In my opinion there is value in a class play.

Let's take a poll. Who misses the days of school plays?

Make Some Memories...

2012-02-01T19:45:00.000-06:00

The winner of the My Memories digital scrapbooking software is....TINA!!! Shoot me an email, and I will reply with instructions for how to download your free software!!

Busy Days and Nights...

2012-02-01T01:21:00.000-06:00

The days have been painfully busy lately. Tax season is in full swing. It's good that tax season begins when the weather is crappy because if the weather was nice, I'd want to spend every last minute of my evenings and weekends in the sun with this little man.

I will be working basically full time during tax season and return to my lazy bum hours during the off season. Tax season has been okay so far. It's definitely been busy and a lot more work than I had gotten used to, but there is a wonderful support system in place. I'm also excited that two of my friends (not like work friends, but people I was already friends with before we became coworkers) work at the same place. It makes the stress of tax season melt away to just take five and chit chat about babies or clothes.

I should get to work, so I can spend more time kissing little man's cheeks. :)

Randoms Thoughts and Observations from Today...

2012-01-31T20:57:00.000-06:00

Today was the deadline for w-2s and 1099s. I got a gazillion texts and emails. Have I replied? No. Will I? Yes, at some point.

When I got gas (on my way to meet a Huntsville client at County Line Road. Talk about full service accounting), the attendant said I had a cheerleader face. I have no idea what that means, but it made me feel happy. I never thought of myself as having a cheerleader face...even when I was a cheerleader in junior high. I was the dowdy one.

There is chicken in my hair. I didn't notice it until after I had been running around like a crazy lady. I might have been eating lunch while processing w-2s and 1099s. If you get yours and it smells slightly like Steak-Out, my bad.

I think I have suffered catastrophic deodorant failure. Nuff said.

I took my shoes off because the heels were killing my feet. No one seems to have noticed that I am three inches shorter...and walking around the office in trouser sock feet.

I missed the Spirit of Athens awards luncheon due to the deadline craze. :( That made me sad, but I know that working a lot during this tax season means I will have more time to devote to things like Spirit of Athens after April.

My pantry is dangerously low on food. The codependents have begun to act like feral children as a result. Layton may have tried gnawing on Ella's thighbone to get some nourishment. She's a wiry thing, so he's still hungry.

There might be a half eaten apple under the driver's seat of my car. At least, I hope that smell is an apple and not something far messier to clean up.

I have become irrationally boundary free on the blog.

Definitely Not My House...

2012-01-31T01:21:00.000-06:00

This picture was definitely not taken inside my house, but I wish my house looked more like this. :)

Silly Face...With No Teeth...

2012-01-30T01:21:00.000-06:00

I know a woman who moved here from St. Louis. On her last day of work near the Gateway Arch, her coworkers threw a going away party for her. The gifts she received included an empty shoe box and an empty tube of toothpaste. Living in Alabama requires no shoes or teeth....at least...that's the perception in other parts of the country. :) Ella has recently started to embody the Alabama stereotype.

Sunshine Daydream...

2012-01-29T01:21:00.000-06:00

The weather here has been crazy lately. For about two weeks I thought we had moved to Seattle. It was rainy and dreary like you would not believe. It's been cold. Warmer. Cold. Warmer. An absolute nightmare to plan for clothing wise. Take yesterday. It was freezing when I got up to go to work. Then by the time lunch came around, I met up with Jay and the kids and was fine without my coat. By the time the sun set, I needed my warm coat again. I have no clue how to properly dress the littles for school.

I am feverish for some good weather. :) How about you?

Eating Bread...

2012-01-28T01:21:00.000-06:00

These chickens are a lot like me.

They eat a lot of bread. :) I have always been a sucker for bread products. I love a roll. Oh, biscuits. Oh heaven, yeast and white flour. Word to ya motha. I love some carbs. I could eat Layton's weight in Logan's rolls. I could eat 15 biscuits for breakfast. I think I did yesterday. Luvici's serves their dinner rolls with honey butter. Don't even ask how many I ate the last time I was there. It was ugly.

The thing is that all of the carbs I love are off limits to Layton. Being a gluten-free person can be tough. I know I shouldn't eat as much enriched flour as I do, but it's like I can't make myself stop.

Do any of you have any food addictions?

Straight Up in Love...

2012-01-27T01:07:00.000-06:00

I am completely obsessed with these Tory Burch boots.

The Selma.

I will not, however, spend $495.00 on a pair of boots. That's just a little too obscene for me. So, I looked around on the interwebs (hoping to find a ridiculous sale) for a while and came across ioffer.com. Is this website for real? Because some man in China is willing to sell these boots for $120.00...at least that's what his history says. Surely not. Right? They have to be knockoffs. $120.00?? Seems too good to be true. I'm a somewhat naive person in a lot of ways. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I'm always shocked when I find out that someone I know doesn't have a moral compass that points North. As J would say....I am allergic to seeing bad in other people. That's precisely why I will end up chopped to bits and left in a ditch someday after stopping to help change a tire.
So......
I come to all you, my faithful readers (Hi J). Have you ever ordered anything from ioffer? Have you ever sent a money order to China? Does China even accept money orders?

Warm Glowing Lights...

2012-01-26T01:21:00.000-06:00

These warm glowing lights have me dreaming of Spring. My favorite time of year. I love it when the weather is not too hot for a camp fire but not too cold for short sleeves. MMMM. Yes, I am ready for Spring.

2012-01-25T10:43:00.000-06:00

UPDATE....Since no one really entered this giveaway, I'm going to extend it until Monday, January 30th!!

I have been using this blog as a way to scrapbook our lives for quite some time now. I just never thought of myself as someone who was good at scrap booking, so this seemed like an easy alternative for me. I'm short on time because of work and the demands of having three children in school with after school activities. About a week ago, I discovered digital scrapbooking software. It seemed like something I might be able to do, so I investigated further. I took about 10 minutes to draft a sample page.

It was so easy! There are tons of backgrounds, templates, fonts, and more to choose from. Even an accountant like me can come up with a beautiful page or album. I'm so impressed with the software that www.mymemories.com has available that I'm going to give away a copy of My Memories Suite! Well, actually, Liz at My Memories gave me a copy to give away!

Do you love to scrapbook and want a chance to win? Or are you looking for a way to keep a record of your family's activities but don't know where to start? Let me help... :) It's easy to enter this giveaway. Here's how:

1. Go to www.mymemories.com and pick your favorite album template. Leave a comment letting me know which one you liked best.

2.Become a follower of this blog. I'll see your pretty new face right over there---------->>>>>

3. Like My Memories on Facebook- http://www.facebook.com/pages/MyMemories/140359372717593 Leave me a comment letting me know you did.

That's all there is to it! You can enter as many times as you'd like until Monday, January 23, 2012. I will pick the winner randomly the next day.

And just because I am feeling extra warm and gooey (translation: the nice people at My Memories said my readers deserved it), I'll give you $10 off any purchase you make from My Memories...

Promo Code: STMMMS74707
Enter in above code during online checkout

Good Luck!!!!!

O Holy Jeans...

2012-01-25T01:21:00.000-06:00

All of Layton's pants look like this...

He has managed to blow the knees out of every pair of pants he owns! He has even blown out the brand new ones I bought him a few months ago. I'm not entirely sure what it is about little boys, but they seem to get rougher as they get older. Layton never used to have holy pants. In fact when he went two years without growing, his pants never got holy....that's how sweet he was on his clothes. Nowadays, I'm lucky if I get the price tag trimmed off a pair of pants before the holes appear.

Other Moms of little boys.....I ask....

Do you have a holy jeans problem too?

No Relaxation Was Not a Good Idea...

2012-01-24T01:21:00.000-06:00

Ella took me for a long ride....

She drove me all over the farm while I sat and relaxed and took pictures. :)

The Shoes Are Made for Relaxing...

2012-01-23T01:21:00.000-06:00

I sat around with my feet on the dashboard of the RTV. I relaxed and took pictures. I shouldn't have been. You can almost see why in the reflections. Care to guess why I should not have been relaxing?

Fuzzy Feet...

2012-01-22T01:21:00.000-06:00

Fuzzy Ella had Who-Hair.
Fuzzy Ella was not a bear.

Oops. I seem to have reverted to grade school for a moment there.

Just for Jim...

2012-01-21T21:57:00.000-06:00

MEEEEEEE-YOOOOOWWW. ;)

Sweet Child of Mine...With No Curls...

2012-01-21T01:21:00.001-06:00

Layton's hair has gotten particularly wild and out of control lately. He's been wanting it straight, but this is the best I could do.

The longer his hair gets, the harder it gets to control the fro. No amount of gel or brushing will make the ends straight on the days he wants to have straight hair. I love the fact that he tells me every morning whether or not he is going to let the curly flag fly.

So....we took him to get a shorter do. It had gotten so long that the woman had to use the clippers and then go back over the whole thing with scissors after that. Whoops. At least Layton's wild hair is a money saver. We only have to pay for semi-annual haircuts.

His hair looks so much darker when it's short. I don't think he's blond anymore; he's getting brown on me. Awwwww. Sweet little man.

I Gotta Feeling...

2012-01-20T20:24:00.000-06:00

I gotta feeling that Hadley is going to do some wonderful things with this.

She got it for Christmas, but I still haven't previewed any of the pictures she took. Maybe I'll get around to that this weekend.

My Memories...Yours Too...A Giveaway....

2012-01-19T20:24:00.002-06:00

I have been using this blog as a way to scrapbook our lives for quite some time now. I just never thought of myself as someone who was good at scrap booking, so this seemed like an easy alternative for me. I'm short on time because of work and the demands of having three children in school with after school activities. About a week ago, I discovered digital scrapbooking software. It seemed like something I might be able to do, so I investigated further. I took about 10 minutes to draft a sample page.

Hold This...But Only for One Week of the Month....

2012-01-19T01:21:00.000-06:00

This picture got me thinking. The comments on this picture really got me thinking. Why am I still carrying a tampon case from 1985? Wouldn't it be easier to buy a new one that is slightly more stylish? I love having a case because I work with a bunch of men. I've always tried to be discreet about things like having a tampon-9-1-1. It really shouldn't be anything to be embarrassed about, but for some reason, I'm not about to walk to the ladies room swinging a tampon as casually as I would swing a bag from Tiffany's.

So, I googled tampon case. My, my, my. Haven't things gotten stylish since 1985? Here's the proof.

Ooooo, this next one isn't a tampon case. It's a tampon clutch.

The word clutch just makes that time of the month seem so much classier than the word case, right?

And now I present, the tampon wallet. Making periods richer one gal at a time.

I totally stole this pictures off Etsy. Since I don't have a huge blog following, maybe no one will turn me in. I did link to the actual products though as a show of good faith. And yes, I actually put one in my cart. These things are WAY cuter than the plastic container I've been carrying for a decade. Maybe the next time there is a link up regarding purse contents, you'll get to see which one I upgraded to.

My Bag of Tricks...

2012-01-18T13:56:00.000-06:00

So, Becky is interested what products we women think we need/want in our purses. I sort of resisted linking up at first, but I decided to go ahead and do it. I'm not at home with access to my decent camera or the ability to create an interesting backdrop, but I can still embarrass myself from work during my lunch break. :)

I have not been thoughtful and labeled each product. No, I'm not as clever as Becky, so you'll just have to deal with my crappy navigation skills on this one.

Things from inside my purse...work your way from left-ish to right-ish...

Checkbook

gum

wallet (has so many pennies in it that it no longer zips. Yes, only pennies.)

dental floss (I never leave home without it.)

manicure kit (at least this one item is Vera Bradley and cute)

1985 tampon holder (no clue where this bad boy came from, but it's been in my purse for like a decade), Mary Kay compact (complete with powder. Color? Casper the Friendly Ghost White)

lip gloss and lipsticks in various shades

Ella's Epi-Pen (I'm convinced that if I leave home without it, she will eat a peanut and die.)

Purell

sunglasses.

Whoops, I forgot to point out the lotion. I keep a small tube of lotion in the ole handbag. Here's the kicker. I edited the contents. Extreme edited the contents. If you were to look inside my purse without all of the above goodness inside, the bag would still be full. Of what? Crap. Receipts from the grocery store. An EFTPS printout in case I forgot to give one to the client. A notepad. Two meal replacement shake packets from Advocare. Those have been there a while. Might oughta take them out. Advil. And all sorts of other garbage. Ziploc bags of miscellaneous items the children have given me. Evidence of the bacon Layton didn't eat for breakfast. He's not real good at using the garbage can. Sometimes, Mommy's purse or pocket seems like a better place. The rebate paperwork for Hadley's most recent contact lens purchase. A grocery list from two months ago. You know, the kind of stuff everyone keeps in their purse.

Are You as Ready for Spring as I?...

2012-01-18T01:21:00.000-06:00

Observations from the Dental Waiting Room....

2012-01-17T15:16:00.000-06:00

Random thoughts and sights from this morning's lovely trip to the dentist...

-If your child is nine and you still carry a diaper bag, you might need to perform a reality check on yourself and cut the cord. The child in question clearly has no disabilities and is potty trained. She went to the restroom while we were waiting. I just gotta ask. Why is Mom still carrying the diaper bag with the kid's name monogrammed on it? Yes, the big kid. Only child. Totes eavesdropped on that conversation.

-If you have converted the aforementioned diaper bag into your purse, you might be a freak. And you might really want to wash that bag before carrying it in public....not to mention the fact that it is obviously a diaper bag....baby blocks embroidered on it alongside your child's name. Look, I am in favor of being thrifty, but when you are still toting a bag from when your child was an infant....yeah, you get the point.

-If your child is better equipped to handle checking in at the dentist and dealing with the insuranace card, you might have issues....wait....issues discovered....see next item...

-If you confess to the receptionist at the dental office that you are too hungover to deal with any of this, you might have a drinking problem. Or maybe you have a gaggle of kids whose energy and whining leads to you wining. And maybe I am wondering where you live, so I can join you later today. Nope, another only child....single mom....Ahhhh...I'd drink too sister; I just wouldn't confess the extent of my hangover out loud...in public...in a room full of strangers....all staring at my bloodshot eyes....Woah now, Fundie over in the corner looks like she might be ready to gather up an angry mob of conservatives to have this woman lynched...or made into a headline on Nancy Grace.

-If your young child weighs more than I do, I am probably judging you for not feeding your child healthy food. Your child depends on you to be responsible. Allowing your 5 year old to be obese is not responsible. In my opinion, it's abuse. It is one thing to be overweight as an adult. I can abuse my own body all I want. But to let that happen to your child? Here's an idea. Instead of having Michelle Obama try to convince children to get up and exercise, why don't we start prosecuting the parents who let their children eat twinkies three meals a day? Truth be told, slapping parents with fines and possible time in jail for child abuse would probably be less expensive than the "Let's Move" initiative. How much money do you think has been spent on...

Michelle Obama Obesity Campaign Components

Let's Move has four areas of focus:

Healthy Choices: better nutrition labeling, a revamped food pyramid, and regular monitoring of children's BMI
Healthier Schools: reauthorization of the Child Nutrition Act for improved school lunches; expansion of the Healthier US Schools Challenge
Physical Activity: modernize the President's Physical Fitness Challenge program and increase participation; partner with professional athletes to encourage 60 minutes of active play daily
Access to Affordable Healthy Food: Address the problem of "food deserts," urban and rural areas without access to affordable, nutritious foods

-The initial budget was upwards of $10 Billion dollars just for school breakfasts and lunches. No joke.
Michelle Obama can talk all day long about being active. She can make commercials that I have to sit through while my children watch Disney Channel before falling asleep. My children's school can offer whole wheat hamburger buns all day long. BUT. Until there are immediate consequences for unhealthy eating habits, no one is going to care. The threat of developing Type II Diabetes in 20 years really doesn't make a child want to put down the chicken nugget. The threat of having knee replacement surgery in 40 years doesn't stop a child from wanting 3 cookies instead of 1. Anyone who has ever taken a psychology class is familiar with punishment theory. To deter a particular behavior, the consequences have to be swift and certain...and the punishment has to be for the adults supplying these children with junk food. Airing 100 "Let's Move" commercials during Saturday morning cartoons isn't likely to reach the parents. The offenders.

-If your breasts are overflowing the neckline of your shirt, the man next to me will stare. He's a total perv. Someone should either hide the boobs or point out to him there is also a flat panel tv to watch. On second thought, why has this woman left the house with half her bust literally hanging out of her shirt? I would take a picture, but I'm afraid that it would classify as pornography. Does this woman even have a child with her? She looks more like she's trolling for a man.

-

-Oh good lawd. Will I ever get out of here?

Where the Wild Thing Is...

2012-01-17T01:21:00.000-06:00

Layton is so wild. He's all jacked up on steroids and such, so his energy level is somewhere between crack-addict and 100 Red Bulls. When he finally does crash out for some sleep, it will be wherever he is at the moment. Kitchen floor? Oh yes, I have found him asleep there. Coffee table? Yep, there too.

He likes to curl up on the sofa with his pillow pets and gee-gee and play DS or watch a cartoon. He passed out on the sofa not too long ago, and I couldn't help but notice how adorable he is.

I didn't bother moving him from the sofa. He was covered up plenty, so I let him sleep there. Of course, he was up and bouncing off the walls before the sun came up.

Lawdy, I am a Failure as a Parent...

2012-01-16T01:21:00.001-06:00

I try so hard to keep my children safe... To teach them how to protect themselves... To teach them not to cross the street without looking both ways... How to call 911... That they should scream if anyone ever tries to take them.

Then, I look out the window at the farm, and I see my precious child has climbed atop an RTV and is posing just waiting for me to see him. Seeing as how I was relatively far away and had the camera in my hand anyway, I snapped a picture and motioned for him to climb down.

Oh my word! What am I ever going to do with him?

I Love a Fire...

2012-01-16T01:21:00.000-06:00

I love sitting by a fire when it's cold outside. I love it when it is so cold that you periodically have to turn around to warm the other side of your body by the fire.

I also love to warm my feet by the fire.
This picture is slightly deceptive though. My feet really weren't that close to the fire, but it looked like I was practically resting them on the embers. Maybe we'll have a fire this weekend, and I can enjoy the warmth some more.

How about you guys? Do you love a big ole fire outside as much as I do?

Subscribe and Save....I'm Totally Obsessed...

2012-01-15T01:21:00.000-06:00

Layton follows a very special diet. He jokingly tells people he's on a diet. That gets a rise out of servers when we take him out to eat. They look at me like I am the worst mother on the planet for putting a small child on a diet. Ha! I always try to explain that he follows a special diet for medical reasons, but I'm not entirely sure they believe me.

Anyway....

His food can be quite expensive (understatement of the year. M&Ms for him are $10 a pound) and difficult to come by in a small town in Alabama. A lot of his food I buy at Earthfare or Whole Foods. Neither of those stores has a location here, so I have to travel to buy groceries free of gluten, corn, carrots, chicken, peanut, walnut, etc. There is a Whole Foods a few interstate exits away from the Vanderbilt exit, so when I take him to see the doctor(s), I try to stop and shop. Or when I go to Huntsvegas, if time permits, I stop and shop at Earthfare. It's not always possible to make time each and every week to shop for him, so I try to stock up once or twice a month.

It occurred to me that I might be able to order some of his favorite foods from internet sites. His favorite cookies aren't always in stock at the store because they are seriously yummy gluten-free cookies. Don't judge. He also needs to consume high fat foods, so I do give him cookies and milkshakes. Woah, that explains the 20 pounds I've gained since his diet began. I got on Amazon and found that I could order the cookies in a case of eight packages.

Then....

I noticed the most awesome thing ever. On the right-hand side of the page for ordering the cookies had a "Subscribe and Save" box that I could check. Say what?!?!?!?!!! Yes, it was in my power to have the food auto-ordered at various intervals, and by doing it that way, Amazon offers a 15% off deal on every order and includes free shipping. Um, Hello, best thing ever for me! I don't have to lift a finger, and a variety of Layton's food will show up on my front porch once a month or every other month or whatever schedule fits me best. Plus, the savings really adds up. When you're buying $7.00 bread, getting 15% off is so righteous. Think about how much gas it takes to drive 160 miles round trip for me to go to Whole Foods. Subscribe and Save just may be the best thing I have discovered this year.

There are lots of other products that are eligible for it too. Food, diapers, formula, detergent, shampoos....all on the Subscribe and Save program. If there is anything you use on a regular basis but don't always have time to shop, check out Subscribe and Save. It just might change you life too. :)

Shabby Chic....

2012-01-14T01:28:00.000-06:00

Okay. I have never been much of a dress girl. I have stuck to slacks, jeans, and other types of pants for the majority of my life. It's because I have cankles. I do in fact have cankles. Can't help it. Born that way. My fear of anything shorter than 2 inches too long only got worse after I got married and heard the hubs and Cody ragging on chicks with cankles like you would not believe. It was then that I realized I never wanted anyone to see my cankles ever again. My legs have been in hiding for more than a decade now. I even wear jeans at the beach. Pardon the French, but no shit, I wear jeans at the beach. See...

On the rare occasion that I do decide to rock a dress, it has to be a good one. A really good one. My dress of choice? Shabby Apple.

I have the Cleopatra, and it never fails to get a lot of compliments. I also have one that they don't make anymore, but it looks a lot like the Martha's Vineyard dress. I have it in navy blue, and I think it was called Ahoy Mate.

I have been thinking that I might need to invest in a dress or two for tax season. Shabby Apple came to mind. I opened my email this morning, and wouldn't you know it. Shabby Apple is having a terrific sale! 20% off everything on their site if you use the code NEWYEAR at checkout. There is also free shipping on orders over $100.

You will love these dresses!

The Next Julia Child in the Kitchen...

2012-01-13T01:21:00.000-06:00

Oh Ella, you are just about the sweetest little girl ever. I love the fact that the kitchen is so important to you.

Proof That I'm Not Always the One Behind the Camera...

2012-01-12T01:21:00.001-06:00

It's true. 99% of the pictures on my blog are taken by me, so there is rarely evidence that I exist. This, my friends, is proof that I am not always behind the camera. I give you me....making a goofy face behind Sam...

Yeah, I should probably spend my time behind the camera. :)

I Love These...

2012-01-12T01:21:00.000-06:00

How cute are these wine glasses? They are so redneck and efficient. I positively adore them. Ben and Vicki brought theirs to the New Year's Eve party, and I went on an all out jihad to find some of my own. :) Next New Year's Even, I will drink from a set of my very own.

It's a Lost Cause...

2012-01-11T01:21:00.000-06:00

Ella has lost several teeth lately. She thinks it's awesome that the tooth fairy leaves money for her,
but she's a little concerned that she won't be able to eat if she loses any more teeth. This face says it all.

Sweet Little Cousins...

2012-01-10T01:21:00.001-06:00

Ella positively adores her little cousin Lacey. Ella is kind of like a mother hen. She likes to tend to Lacey and hug on her.

Cute cousins. :)

E-Ro's Favorite Christmas Gift...

2012-01-09T01:21:00.000-06:00

There was only one thing on Ella's Christmas list that was a make or break present. Stilts. Yes, stilts. She was positively foaming at the mouth for some stilts. Santa Claus managed to find a set just right for E-Ro. :)

She has been using them all over the house and yard and has become a pro on the stilts.

I have no clue why this was what she wanted, but she loves them. I have a feeling that once the weather gets warm she will have even more fun stilting around the yard. :)

What's Up?...

2012-01-08T01:21:00.000-06:00

Layton is the king of posing. He loves poses like this...

To me, it looks like he's saying, "What's up?" in a sort of sweet boy baby kind of way. What a doll?!?

Shepards...

2012-01-07T01:21:00.000-06:00

I'm not entirely sure why, but I don't think I'd let these three Shepard anything just yet. They are little and adorable and cute and.....

...oh my word. They are so cute! BUT, at this point Layton, Hiott, and Harper need a Shepard themselves! Ha!

Orange You Glad I Posted This Picture?...

2012-01-06T01:21:00.000-06:00

So sorry. I saw the words coming from my fingers on the keyboard and knew immediately that the title joke just wasn't going to play. I typed it anyway.

Again, I apologize for the completely lackluster joke.

I'm sort of scraping the bottom of the barrel when it comes to the blog right now. I have 1,000 pictures from Christmas, but who wants to look at those for a week straight? I could blog religion or politics. No, that would be a bad idea. Way too many people would get fired up if I really let loose on politics and religion. Just last week, the Publix bag boy nearly dropped my eggs when he heard me say something that could be construed as liberal to my 8 year old.

Side note: Do NOT take Ella to the grocery store with you unless you want her to beg for 970 different things she wants to cook. It's not that I don't want her to cook; I love it when she helps out in the kitchen. She just has a different idea about what makes a great meal. Me? whatever meat is on sale. Ella? whatever $17 per person dish she just read about in her new cookbook.

So, are there any topics any of you would like to see on the blog? Any questions you'd like answered? A tax advice post? That wouldn't play either, would it? I know, how about embarrassing childhood pictures of me? Bueller? Bueller? Yes, I have seen that movie. :) I know! It's a miracle!

Shhhhh, It's a Secret...

2012-01-05T01:21:00.000-06:00

Ella got a secret diary for Christmas. She's busy filling it with all kind of things, but I am not allowed to read it. She keeps the key in her secret spot. :)

It's only a matter of time until she lets me read it though. Sweet Ella loves me more than anything and will no doubt be giddy to show it to me at some point. :)

My Kid Is More Bad A$$ Than You...

2012-01-04T01:21:00.001-06:00

I'm just saying....

...and yes, she shot it. Cue DHR.

Sharing the Red...

2012-01-03T01:21:00.000-06:00

Of course I couldn't let Lacey put on red lipstick and not let Ella do it too!!

Whoosh, that is some serious red!!

Be Kiet, Manda...

2012-01-02T01:21:00.000-06:00

What's that? Right there. What can it be? Point to it.

Oh, it's just Manda taking your picture in the lipstick she let you put on. Smile.

I loves it when she says, "Be kiet, Manda." It's hilarious that she's telling me to be quiet!

A Beautiful New Year...

2012-01-01T21:58:00.003-06:00

Jay and I are lucky enough to have great friends. Seriously great friends. We spent New Year's Eve with a group of friends. I love Sam and Amanda's house. The architecture is so unique, and they have done a wonderful job making it beautiful. The food was divine, and the company was even better.

I hope your New Year's Eve was as fun-filled as ours.

Let There Be Fire...

2012-01-01T18:37:00.002-06:00

...or if you're a member of our crew, let there be a fire with a huge piece of wood in the middle as a "centerpiece."

Happy New Year!!!!...

2012-01-01T01:21:00.000-06:00

Happy new year! I hope you all got to ring in the new year with joy and fun!

I am looking forward to what this year will bring. Please be patient if my posting gets a little wonky for the next few months. Tax season is my busiest time of year, and I don't always have as much time as I would like for blogging. This will be my first tax season at my new job. I'm hoping that it will go as smoothly as the last several months have. I am looking forward to it though....until April 1st. I usually get a little bit mean by then. :)

Final Words of 2011...

2011-12-31T23:59:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow is a new day. A new year. Live it big. Yes, live it big.

Dressed for Fun...

2011-12-31T01:21:00.000-06:00

Ella dressed up Lacey. Apron? Check. Tutu? Check.

Oh lawdy, those two girls are adorable playing together.

Ta-Da...

2011-12-30T01:21:00.000-06:00

Ella cannot resist striking a pose. Ever.

It just about makes me squeal every time she does it.

A Special Kind of Coach...

2011-12-29T01:21:00.000-06:00

One of the coaches at Ella and Layton's school is Coach Montgomery. She also answers to Coach Princess which of course pleases all the children to no end. Coach Princess stopped by Layton's class party before school let out, and I had to get a picture of them together. She calls Layton, "Lynn Layton Chevrolet." He has no idea why she gave him this nickname, but he loves it all the same. A number of the children in kindergarten refer to him as Lynn Layton.

How sweet!

Amazon Threw Up...

2011-12-28T18:35:00.000-06:00

Christmas day...

It looked like Amazon.com threw up in my den.

Summation...

2011-12-28T01:21:00.000-06:00

I think Ella's face sums up what Christmas morning was like at our house. :)

Ornament Shortfall....

2011-12-27T12:24:00.000-06:00

I've been a bit of a grinch the last couple of years. I'm not really sure why, but I just haven't had much Christmas spirit. It just seems that the season has become so commercialized and rushed that there isn't much time to enjoy being with family.

In fact, a couple of years ago, I threw out the majority of my ornaments with the intention of buying all new ornaments in the same color scheme so as to have a pretty tree. Did I get around to it? No.

This year I realized that I didn't have enough ornaments to actually cover the tree. Hmmm. So as Christmas cards came in the mail, I punched holes in them and hung them on the tree as a substitute.

Don't be alarmed if your family's faces were on my Christmas tree. We're not stalking you.

I just failed to ever actually replace the ornaments I threw out.

So all of your beautiful cards had to be my "decorations" this year.

Surely one of these days I will actually learn to decorate and make a beautiful tree.

Until then, thank you all for sprucing up our tree.

Don't Play with Your Food...

2011-12-27T01:21:00.000-06:00

In Ella's case it's more like....

...don't play with your water...

Happy Birthday Siblings...

2011-12-26T18:28:00.001-06:00

My father-in-law and his sister are 364 days apart in age. For one day each year, they are the same age. Since Papa Jim turned 60 this year, we decided to go out to eat to celebrate. See, his birthday is Christmas Eve, so it's hard to celebrate on his big day. We went out the night before on Peggy's birthday. It was wonderful to get the two of them and all their children and grandchildren together for a night. It would have been even better if Jay hadn't been under the weather and the service had been a little speedier. I think the last time we did anything for Jim's birthday was when he turned 50. Yes, it had been a decade. Oops.

I have always felt bad for Jim and Peggy having birthdays right at Christmas-time. They kind of get the short end of the birthday stick so to speak. Even their presents have often been Christmas themed. Just ask Aunt Peggy about the ''Snowman Story." :)

One Time at Band Camp....

2011-12-26T01:21:00.000-06:00

Hadley is in the band. She plays the flute. We've established that band was cool in Athens for a long time. No, really. It was cool to be in the band here. There are still some lingering feelings of affection toward the band program here even though our rocking directors retired.

The middle school had their Christmas concert not too long ago. Hadley was sporting the tux like no body's business. She was thrilled to remove the tie and cumber bun though. Truth be told...it wasn't the best Sleigh Ride I have ever heard, but I was very proud of how hard the children had obviously worked on it. There were several times when I honestly thought it was going to fall apart, but the kids kept on going. It was endearing.

These are a few of Hadley's band friends. It was impossible to get a good shot of her playing the flute. She was completely obscured by other kids. :( She doesn't want to be in the band next year unless she can be a part of the dance twirl team. I know, I know. Where did I go wrong?

Happy Christmas Friends!....

2011-12-25T01:21:00.000-06:00

Happy day, dear digital friends!!! I hope you are all having a wonderful Christmas full of good food and presents!!!

Papa and Elf...

2011-12-24T21:16:00.000-06:00

Papa Jim and Mama Kaye came to Layton's program at school. Papa always takes the month of December off of work, so he needed something cute to fill his morning. :) He was so proud of Layton even though Layton was a wild Elf.

Gosh, Layton is the cutest little elf I ever did see!

Much Better...

2011-12-24T16:56:00.000-06:00

Elf You...

2011-12-24T01:02:00.000-06:00

Layton's kindergarten class had a play. All the parents wanted to get a picture of the children as a group. They were elves; the other kindergarten classes were angels, reindeer, and santas. It was cute.

Layton wasn't on his best behavior during the program. He and his friend Trey played and wrestled the whole time.

Yes, even when I tried to get a good picture of my little elf, he was in elvish form.

See what I mean? He was entertaining....embarrassing but entertaining.

Oh Yes, It's On...

2011-12-23T16:15:00.001-06:00

Ella is completely obsessed with cooking. She loves to cook and anything related to cooking. She could drop a fortune in Williams-Sonoma.

Since we have a family dinner every Sunday night, Ella uses that opportunity to cook with Mama Kaye. She has had to get Lacey in on the action. :)

How stinking cute is this?

Mama Kaye and Ella were so happy to have Lacey in the kitchen cooking with them.

Ella seemed to think that Lacey's technique was a little lacking, but it was Lacey's first cake.

I can't wait to see what these two, sweet cousins cook up next. :)

What Do You Think Was About to Happen?...

2011-12-23T01:21:00.000-06:00

This picture of Ella and Lacey can only mean one thing...

Speaking of the Schoolyard...

2011-12-22T16:15:00.000-06:00

The picture of Layton posing in the schoolyard is adorable to me for so many reasons. You see, Ella and Layton get out of school a half hour before Hadley gets out of school. After I pick the littles up, we sit in a car line for a half hour waiting on Hadley. There is a whole group of kids who have an older sibling and have to wait a half hour too. So....

The younger kids get out of the cars and play every afternoon that the weather permits and play. They play hide and seek or football or some other interesting child game. I find it completely endearing. :)

I'm Awesome and I Know It...

2011-12-22T01:21:00.000-06:00

Just doing a pose in the schoolyard....

Funniest Christmas Card Ever...

2011-12-21T18:37:00.000-06:00

I love my twitter friends. @becomedizzy posted this pic earlier today, and I nearly lost it I laughed so hard.

It said, " Even SHE got a card out."

Totally adorbs.

Party on Wayne; Party on Santa....

2011-12-21T01:21:00.001-06:00

Christmas parties are so much fun. I love going to parties. If you'll recall, I changed jobs earlier in the year, so this was my first Christmas party at the new company. I didn't really know what to expect, but I was blown away when I found out that children were invited to the party. I don't think I've ever been to a work party at night that allowed children. Every company Christmas party I have been to in the past involved an open bar and someone making a drunken fool of themselves. Mostly me. Ha!

Anyway, back to my first Christmas party for my job. The little ones came with us, and part way through the party, guess who showed up!!!!!

He was a great Santa! The littles sat on his lap and told them what they wanted for Christmas. He gave each of them a present. Actually, the parents had discreetly given the gifts to our Marketing/HR guru earlier in the day/week. My littles got pillow pet pee wees. They had expressed a desire to have a pee wee, and I knew that Santa wasn't bringing them on the 25th. This was the perfect opportunity to surprise them.

Santa told them to be good for Mom and Dad and to pay attention at school and clean their rooms. Lawd, can Santa come live with us?

My Littles.

Thanks, Kate for planning such a wonderful party and thinking of the children. This was a GREAT experience for us, and I look forward to the party next year.

Whoosh...I Think I Need Warm Weather...

2011-12-21T01:21:00.000-06:00

One Heck of a Weekend...

2011-12-20T21:26:00.000-06:00

This past weekend was a little rough. Ella came home from school on Friday with the stomach virus that has been going around the local schools. I immediately quarantined her to try and make sure no one else got it. If you've been reading the blog for a while, you know how badly I want to continue my vomit free streak. Soup and dry toast were on the menu that night. Sheets had to be washed and the quarantine had to be enforced. Thankfully though, no one else go the yucks. Well, that particular yuck.

Hadley had been having some congestion, and I had been debating whether or not she needed to see the pediatrician. Of course, she had no fever until Saturday morning...when the pediatrician's office is closed. So that morning I decided she was going to have to go to the doc in the box. I was dreading it because it always takes hours upon hours to be seen. I got her up and gave her a dose of mucinex to help her feel better and told her to take a shower. She came back into the kitchen a few minutes later and said she was a little itchy, so I gave her a benedryll. She took a shower, and she and I loaded up and went to urgent care. We'd been there a few minutes when she started to swell. A lot. I got concerned and asked if a nurse could look at her. The nurse said to take her to the ER fast. So I did. By the time we got to the ER, Hadley's lips were so swollen that her upper lip was touching her nose, and her eyes were swollen shut. She was covered in hives from head to toe. Luckily, the staff took us straight back, and we were seen within minutes. Poor Hadley is allergic to mucinex and had to have all kinds of shots. It was so pitiful. We were back home within two hours armed with three prescriptions and minus the swelling and hives.

My cell phone was broken during all of this. It had been restarting for no apparent reason, and sometimes out of the blue a Conan O'Brien video would start playing. I think I caught a virus. I could text and tweet, but I could only make or receive phone calls on speakerphone. Yes, I was the crazy lady talking on speakerphone for the whole world to hear...while an obscene Conan skit played in the background. When I called Jay to update him, I just used the hospital phone because it was easier and slightly more discreet. Then I was convinced that I had picked up tuberculosis and diptheria. Needless to say, I bought a new phone after getting Hadley's prescriptions filled.

So, what did you do last weekend? Ha! Still though, a stomach virus and an allergy to mucinex are pretty insignificant things to deal with. I am reminded of that every time I think of Noah Crowe. His parents are faced with the reality that this may be their last Christmas with their little boy. I have no doubt that they would rather have an ER trip for an allergy than have to watch their sweet child have a third brain surgery.

A Christmas Carol...Mickey Style...

2011-12-20T01:21:00.000-06:00

Have you ever seen Mickey's Christmas Carol? It's my personal favorite. When I was a little girl, I would practically foam at the mouth flipping through the December TV Guide to see when it was going to play. I watched it every year. :)

Willie the Giant is a character that is just adorable. He's so big and clumsy and makes me laugh every time. Layton reminded me of Willie the Giant not too long ago.

Oh yes, he plucked a solar powered low-voltage light to use as a flashlight. At least he's inventive!!

You Might Be a Redneck If...

2011-12-19T01:21:00.000-06:00

Hunting. It's not my sport of choice. I don't really have a sport of choice because I'm about as athletic as a doorknob. Is hunting even a sport? I have no clue, but I know that my husband loves to hunt. He and his brother particularly enjoy hunting squirrels at the farm.

They got a few not too long ago, and Ella wanted to help with the cleaning. What eight year old girl does this excitedly? Ella.

She calmly stood around holding the one she wanted to help with. What?!?!?!?!???? And more importantly, why was I fool enough to sit around photographing it instead of disinfecting her hands?

Clearly, we are redneck as it gets. We're klassy. With a K.

The Hubs Is Guilty...

2011-12-18T16:15:00.000-06:00

The Hubs loves to give ridiculous gifts. What, you want proof? Um, just ask his brother about the battle axe, beer belt, or Bulls Balls. There's actually a semi-comical story about the Bulls Balls. Jay drove out to Jeffrey and Lori's house in the middle of the night and put them on Lori's car. He's always trying to get Lori riled up. :)

At the farm a while back, Jay decided to give Nephew Nathan his Christmas present early. Side bar: it's not really his present, but Jay was playing the part of Uncle Danger. :)

Yes, Jay took a branch and whittled the end into a spear. This is Nephew Nathan's mean face. He made it especially for my photo op.

Could Jay pass up the opportunity to make one for Layton too? Of course not.

So, the two little boys played in the bed of Jeffrey's truck with spears from Jay. I wasn't quite horrified enough to take the spears away. I took pictures first. Ha!!!

Just Drinking Some Juice...

2011-12-18T01:21:00.000-06:00

I'm About to Out My In-Laws...

2011-12-17T01:21:00.000-06:00

True confession. I have never seen this Christmas Vacation movie that everyone talks about. I have, however, heard enough about it to know that the Griswolds went all out with their holiday decorations. I'm not entirely positive (since I haven't seen the movie), but I think the Griswolds must have had something like this going on except on a larger scale.

This gem of a picture was taken on my in-laws front porch. After putting this picture on my blog for all to see, it's entirely possible that I will be banned from Christmas dinner. Ha! No, seriously, please don't ban me from dinner; the menu sounds delish!

Mommer's Boy Baby...

2011-12-16T01:21:00.000-06:00

Layton refers to me as Mommers on a regular basis. He calls me Mommy as well, but it warms my soul when he calls me Mommers. What makes me even more giddy is when he refers to himself as, "Mommers's Boy Baby."

He may not be a baby anymore, but when he was a baby, I called him the, "the boy baby." I guess after having two girls and living in a world of pink, purple, glittery, bubble gum for so long, I couldn't help but point out that he was a boy every time I looked at him. The pseudo-nickname stuck, and we have been calling him "boy baby" ever since.

What do you think? Is this not the sweetest "Mommers's Boy Baby" you ever did see? :)

String Bean Plucks Strings...

2011-12-15T01:21:00.000-06:00

We live in an area that has wonderful programs at school. One such program is for third graders. They spend time learning about violins and how to play them. Ella is in third grade this year, and her class recently had their concert for the parents to attend. Of course I was the crazy mom taking 150 pictures of my sweet child playing.

Ella was thrilled to play on stage for all the parents. She had been playing for us at home on Hadley's violin every night, but it was still such a thrill to see her play on stage.

She is such a happy little thing!

I'm Not Sure How I Feel About This...

2011-12-14T01:21:00.000-06:00

Hadley recently decided that her life would not be complete unless she made the middle school's dance twirl team for the upcoming school year. Keep in mind that tryouts are only two months from now. Yeah, that's what I said. So, I signed her up for lessons with a local studio. You are probably wondering why I don't teach her myself. It's completely impossible for me to work with my own child when it comes to twirling. I simply cannot do it. I think I spent too much time teaching when I was younger and am just burnt out on it.

Hadley is thrilled with it though and was beyond excited to be in the local Christmas parade. Here she is after the parade at the designated pickup spot.

Yes, I say that I'm not sure how I feel about this for a variety of reasons. I have seen twirling at its absolute best, and I have experienced the absolute worst of the behind the scenes. For the majority of my life as a parent, I have been adamant that I didn't want either of the girls to take up the thing that consumed so much of my life because it WAS time consuming, expensive, and honestly, it can be really, really unhealthy for a young girl. I am hoping that if she decides to stick with this, I will be able to guide her through the experience without having her succumb to some of the pressures and habits that I wasn't lucky enough to avoid.

She did look really cute in the parade though. This is the first time I have seen her wear pink in ages. She seems to be over the pink thing and is now obsessed with blues, blacks, boots, Toms, jeans, and computers.

Did You Enter the Give Away?...

2011-12-13T21:27:00.000-06:00

Welcome to our December $100 Amazon Gift Card Giveaway!

Just in time for Christmas, 10 Bloggers have teamed up to offer you the chance to win this fabulous prize!

How It Works:

To enter, fill out the Rafflecopter form. Each blog has a different form. You can enter on one or all the blogs, but the more you enter, the greater your chances of winning! Each blog has daily tweet options so that's a potential 10 daily entries should you choose!At the end of the giveaway, all entries will be added up and one winner from all the blogs will be chosen.

Giveaway Rules:Open worldwide, 18+.Ends December 17, 2011 at 11:59 pm

The Blogs:

Money Saving Michele

The Mama Report

To Be Thode Philzendia

The WIC Project Ramblings of a Christian Mom

I Like It Frantic

The Enabler and Her Codependents

Must Love Coupons

Musings From a Stay At Home Mom

Let Freedom Ring...

2011-12-13T21:00:00.000-06:00

What exactly is Freedom of Speech? The United States Courts website has helped me figure that out.

Freedom of speech includes the right:

Not to speak (specifically, the right not to salute the flag).
West Virginia Board of Education v. Barnette, 319 U.S. 624 (1943).
Of students to wear black armbands to school to protest a war (“Students do not shed their constitutional rights at the schoolhouse gate.”).
Tinker v. Des Moines, 393 U.S. 503 (1969).
To use certain offensive words and phrases to convey political messages.
Cohen v. California, 403 U.S. 15 (1971).
To contribute money (under certain circumstances) to political campaigns.
Buckley v. Valeo, 424 U.S. 1 (1976).
To advertise commercial products and professional services (with some restrictions).
Virginia Board of Pharmacy v. Virginia Consumer Council, 425 U.S. 748 (1976); Bates v. State Bar of Arizona, 433 U.S. 350 (1977).
To engage in symbolic speech, e.g., burning the flag in protest.
Texas v. Johnson, 491 U.S. 397 (1989); United States v. Eichman, 496 U.S. 310 (1990).

Freedom of speech does not include the right:

To incite actions that would harm others (e.g. “[S]hout[ing] ‘fire’ in a crowded theater.”).
Schenck v. United States, 249 U.S. 47 (1919).
To make or distribute obscene materials.
Roth v. United States, 354 U.S. 476 (1957).
To burn draft cards as an anti-war protest.
United States v. O’Brien, 391 U.S. 367 (1968).
To permit students to print articles in a school newspaper over the objections of the school administration.
Hazelwood School District v. Kuhlmeier, 484 U.S. 260 (1983).
Of students to make an obscene speech at a school-sponsored event.
Bethel School District #43 v. Fraser, 478 U.S. 675 (1986).
Of students to advocate illegal drug use at a school-sponsored event.
Morse v. Frederick, __ U.S. __ (2007).

Even though my right to freedom of speech is guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution, it is entirely possible that I am guilty of libel, slander, defamation. What do you think? Have I crossed the line on the good ole blog from time to time?

What They Say Splits My Sides...

2011-12-12T16:27:00.000-06:00

This post is as much for me to remember the cute little things my children do as much as it is for your entertainment.

It's a fairly safe assumption that I have established the fact that my children are a little, um, different. I think telling you that Layton has been singing, "I'm awkward and I know it" to the tune of LMFAO's "Sexy and I Know It" for the last week will highlight the interestingness (yes, I just made that word up) of my codependents. There are several other things they say/do that absolutely make me laugh out loud though.

1. Safety spot - this is the spot in the back of the bathtub that is safe from the hottest water. Yes, when Ella runs bathwater for Layton, he sits in "the safety spot" to avoid getting scalded by whatever Ella is doing. And yes, they talk about the safety spot. Often.

2. Pause the game - Sometimes during a rousing game of Scrabble or Dress Up, someone has to potty. My children will scream, "Pause the game", go potty, and then scream "Unpause the game" before resuming the applicable game.

3. Queen of kids - Hadley is the Queen of Kids. The other kids refer to her as the Queen of Kids, and in the event of a "kid meeting" (yes, they actually have those), the Queen of Kids can veto any idea. They're not a democracy; Hadley is in fact the dictator over anyone who comes to play at our house.

4. Mini taco - This is just nasty, and I cannot believe I'm putting this on the Interwebs. Ok, my kids like alliteration with their meals. Taco Tuesday. Spaghetti Sunday. Fishy Friday. Etc. Yes, they will actually request Taco Tuesday for dinner on Tuesdays. Let me go ahead and tell you. Ella isn't going to eat her taco. She will open it up and use the chips from the chips and salsa to scoop the innards up and in her mouth. Layton and Hadley call this the mini taco scoop. It is messy and rarely ends without stains and someone yelling about how gross it is.

5. Bambi nuzzles - When Hadley was little, I foolishly let her watch Bambi. She cried. I cried. It was not a good experience. Really though, what executive thought a children's movie with animals getting shot was a great idea? Anyway, the one thing Hadley loved about the movie was the way that Bambi nuzzled the mother before her unfortunate demise. She would take her cheek and nuzzle it against my cheek. She called it the Bambi Nuzzle, and all three of them do it now. It's just about the sweetest thing ever.

6. Atomic wedgie - This isn't orignal, but Layton is obsessed with giving atomic wedgies to anyone and everyone. It's the way he rolls with laughter that makes it so hilarious. Be warned. If your underpants can be seen, Layton is going to yank them up and yell "Atomic Wedgie" as he does it.

7. Rock-n-Rollio - As we are leaving the house in the mornings for school....the children chant in unison...Let's Rock, Let's Roll, Let's Rock-n-Rollio. It's like our theme song as we walk out the door.

8. It's time to take out the trash - Layton is a big fan of trash talk. He does a lot of it; sometimes I think he might be a professional wrestler reincarnated. Anyway, Jay likes to egg the kids on by telling them that, "Mommy smells like wet goat." Layton responds to this with, "It's time to take out the trash." Or. "I'm bringing out the big guns." Big guns are accompanied by the most hysterical dancing move you've ever seen. I really should video it and put it on the blog. After his trash talk, he attacks Jay. Awww. Little man defends my honor and hygiene.

I never want to forget the adorable little nuances of their childhood. It really is so very special.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Things I Enjoy...

2011-12-12T01:21:00.000-06:00

The hubs has been harassing me about Christmas. Specifically, he wants to know what I want for Christmas. Seems like an easy list to make, right?

Not for me.

I only have a couple of hobbies, and both are completely supplied. I have no needs for any equipment.

I don't need anymore shoes. I am a complete shoe whore and can't even wear all the ones I own anyway.

Clothes are too personal for me to let someone else buy.

I'd rather not open a box on Christmas only to find slutty pajamas tucked inside.

I'm kind of a practical person in a lot of ways. I don't see the need for something if I'm never going to use it or if it will be in the way.

I've mentioned getting a MacBook to the hubs a few times, but it was really more of a....Hey, it would be kind of neat to have one. BUT, I don't need one; therefore, I don't see any reason to ask for it or buy it.

I am someone who focuses more on needs than wants. It's just the way I am.

I have everything I could have ever wanted from life. I have a husband who "adores" me. I have three beautiful, healthy children. I have a roof over my head. I have a vehicle to drive. I have a dream job for a part time working mother. I have slowly but surely eliminated all drama causing individuals from my life.

My other wants are small. We're talking really unimportant stuff here people. I want to not have to unload the dishwasher everyday. I want to know that there is always a source of caffeine in my refrigerator. I want chocolate to magically contain zero fat or calories. I want the Nobel Committee to change the rules and be able to give Gandhi a posthumous award. I also wish the committee would take Obama's prize away. I want to be able to have a glass of wine with lunch; we all know this will never happen because I have the tolerance of an infant. Speaking of wine, I wish there was running wine...just like running water...it'd be the really good wine. I want to see Old Faithful. I want to live without looking over my shoulder. I want to love and be loved. I want my children to like me when they're grown. I want to learn to be completely selfless; I feel guilty for thinking about me and mine all the time.

Wouldn't it be nice if these barrels were full??

Maybe I should work on my Christmas list a little more.

Broken Eggs and Broken Dreams...

2011-12-11T01:21:00.000-06:00

Nephew Nathan and Layton were in the chicken house not too long ago to get some eggs. For some reason Nephew Nathan threw this one down. It was quite comical. Papa Jim and I had a good laugh watching him do it.

We never figured out why this egg had to bite the dust though. :)

Cuz I Wear Big Bows and Pig Tails...

2011-12-10T01:21:00.000-06:00

Sling Shooter...

2011-12-09T01:21:00.000-06:00

Layton has had so much fun using his "sling shooter" at the farm lately. He finds rocks and sends them flying into the field. Sadly, he keeps picking rocks that are way too big for his sling shot, and they only go four feet. The hubs showed him how to pick smaller rocks to get more distance. Oh what fun he has!

Littles Having Fun...

2011-12-08T01:21:00.000-06:00

The littles have so much fun together at the farm. It's tricky to get them all smiling in one picture though. I got lucky a couple of times. :)

Straight Up In the Wood Pile All Day...No Joke...

2011-12-07T20:11:00.000-06:00

Yes, In the Wood Pile...

2011-12-07T16:37:00.000-06:00