I almost reached a point of joy last week when Jay and I went out for a bit. I felt slightly guilty for feeling joy during this emotional storm. Yes, it is a storm. One that I fear will force me to choose between the family I was born into and the family I have created for myself. They are not one and the same, and I can no longer be a part of both without making sacrifices that are beyond what should be asked of a person.
I have never felt the urge to put all of my personal drama on my blog. My blog is my happy place where I can scrapbook about my children and type the funny things they say. This blog has never been the place where I air my troubles. Now though, I am feeling called to put some of it out there. I am feeling so very alone. I need support. Jay loves me and supports me, but he doesn't fully understand what it feels like to be fighting the storm that is upon me now.
I need a friend. I need someone who has been through this to give me encouragement and guidance. I just don't know how to find a friend. I don't know how to reach out and ask for the support system I need right now without publicly humiliating someone I care about.
Do I put it out there? Or do I just hold it all in?
I have never felt the urge to put all of my personal drama on my blog. My blog is my happy place where I can scrapbook about my children and type the funny things they say. This blog has never been the place where I air my troubles. Now though, I am feeling called to put some of it out there. I am feeling so very alone. I need support. Jay loves me and supports me, but he doesn't fully understand what it feels like to be fighting the storm that is upon me now.
I need a friend. I need someone who has been through this to give me encouragement and guidance. I just don't know how to find a friend. I don't know how to reach out and ask for the support system I need right now without publicly humiliating someone I care about.
Do I put it out there? Or do I just hold it all in?
