Dancing Girls...With Beads...

Sometimes, This Happens.


 

I have yet to figure out what it means, but it is hilarious.

Bloggers Block...

 

I'll come up with some new material soon. :) Several hilarious things have happened recently, but I don't feel like they are blog appropriate. Ha! 

Get That Camera Out of My Face....

Speaks for itself...


 

River Rats....

Fun in the sun and water.

 

Does it get any better than watching littles have so much fun???!!!!???? I think not!!

Layton Got One Too...

Whoopsie. I forgot to mention that Layton caught a fish too.


 

Hadley didn't get any though. 

Smug Catfish...

Ella loves to go fishing. She is remarkably talented at reeling them in. I have no interest in fishing, but the littles do. I just take pictures and "ooooohhhhh and ahhhhhhh" over the catch. Check out how smug Ella was about this baby catfish....


 

...you should have seen her face after the fifth or sixth one she caught.

Random Thoughts and Observations...

-My babies make me laugh so hard every single day. Layton has a response for everything. He currently loves to tell me that he is "googolplex plus nine awesome." Try explaining what a googol is to a six year old. Then try to explain a googolplex. I'm not even entirely sure where he heard about it, but it has become a staple in his vocabulary. He wants a googol of beyblades. I tried to explain to him that I would have to be a gazillionaire to buy that many; he didn't care. He said, "You have a job." HAHAHAHAHA!


-I had a salad for lunch the other day. It consisted of arugula, spinach, boiled egg whites, and tomatoes. It was not satisfying at all. I really wanted to climb across the table and eat my coworkers potato chips...bag and all. I realize I need to focus on the healthy food (see the item a few down), so I ate it. Begrudgingly.

-Yes. I only eat egg whites. I have never cared much for the yolk. Even for breakfast I do not eat the yolk. I like scrambled egg whites or fried egg whites. The only way I can tolerate an egg yolk is if it is cooked into something so that I cannot taste it...like in a pie or cookie or cake...


-School's out for Summer! Love the song. Hate the reality of it. School's out. I'm not big on Summer vacation. My little crew just operates better when we have a schedule. Summer = No schedule. Pajamas until 3:00...too much TV...boredom sets in about 4 days in for the codependents...me trying to come up with activities and camps they can attend...BUT...it also means more time to cuddle...more time outside...

-Twice in the last week I was asked when my baby is due. On one of those occasions I was wearing a semi-tight shirt, and I really don't think I looked pregnant. Apparently, I did. I didn't want either of the ladies to feel like they hurt my feelings since I am very, very not-pregnant, so I said, "December." PSA: Unless a woman looks 60 seconds shy of delivery, don't ask when she is due; she might not even be pregnant. I don't understand why people continue to ask. Shouldn't we all know by now that it is dangerous to ask a woman when her baby is due? Clearly, I need to eat more arugula.


-Allow me to say that I am ready for really, really skinny jeans to be out of style. For those of us with lots of curves and cankles, skinny jeans are a pure and simple No-No.  There are no ankles on me because I am blessed with DNA that affords me cankles. Even when I was skinny and weighed around 100 pounds, I still had cankles and would not have been able to pull off skinny jeans. And now? I wouldn't dream of stuffing my business into the ultra-skinny jeans I see around town...because the jeans would no longer qualify as skinny once I found a pair big enough to fit over my hips...they would look more like bell bottoms.

-While at the soccer field (at the last game), there was this dad who kept yelling to his child. "Farley, Farley, look at the ball Farley." No, the child's name wasn't actually Farley, but I try not to call out the actual names of folks on the ole blog. People don't appreciate it. Anyway, poor Farley kept turning to look at his dad each time dad yelled his name...and dad would harp, "Keep your eye on the ball." Whenever someone calls my name, I tend to look for the person. You? So, why is it that dad kept yelling the kid's name but wanted the kid to look at the ball? Really? Why was dad surprised that Farley took his eyes off the ball to look at him upon hearing his name called? It lasted the whole game. J and I chuckled about it a few times.

-My dad wanted to name my brother Farley Upton. Don't even act like you are not laughing.

-I had a bit of a sunless tanning snafu. Ok, we'll just go ahead and call it the "FAIL" that it is. My feet are somewhat blotchy. Maybe I'll get better at it if I keep trying to use it. Since my regular complexion is somewhat Twilight-esque, I thought I might be able to look a little more healthy with a bit of a warm glow. Any helpful suggestions? That don't involve tanning beds? Or wearing bathing suits? :)

Codependents and the Goat...

Sometimes, there is nothing left to do but brush a goat.



 

Why? You ask. Well, because the Nashville Zoo has an area where children can brush goats.





 Hmmmm. Maybe I should come up with some better blog material. 

Boo...More Fun Required...

Spring soccer is officially over for little man. He is sad about that. He really, really enjoyed it and told us he wants to play soccer "until death." Morbid, I know, but he really, really loved playing soccer. His calf muscles are totes ridiculous right now from all that running and kicking. It's quite adorable.


 

I will have to sign him up for Fall soccer ASAP. :)

Walk Like Layton...

When you least expect it, Layton will bust out his Egyptian walk. He thinks it's so clever. He also thinks it's clever to wear brown socks with his black tennis shoes. Oh well. I let him sport that look. I just don't have the time to duke it out with him over socks. He also has some curious looking green socks with frogs on them. Those socks look especially bizarro with his Geox.


 

This picture was outside the room where Hadley's band performed in a recent festival. Yeah, we hung around waiting to enter and dancing (quite literally, Layton danced) to the music of the band before H-Dizzy's.

There is one thing I would like to address. I have never felt the need to be anonymous or secretive about my identity or whereabouts on this blog. If you really wanted to come for a visit, everything you need to know to track me down is on this blog. It has always been my personal policy that I do not blog about events and locations "live." What I mean is that if we go to the park, a picture of it will not show up on the blog that same hour or day. I have always felt it was safer for my children if the whole world didn't know exactly what we were up to when we were up to it. Does that make sense? I don't mind sharing where we have been, but I don't want to divulge every detail of where we are going.

Heck, if Pervy McPerverson wanted to try and coax my children into his pedo-van, all he would have to do is check the blog to find out exactly what each child's interests and whereabouts are. That is not okay, and I have no clue how I let that slip past me. No Pervs have tried to coax my children, and I don't want Pervs to try to coax my children.

That being said...within the last few months though, I have become concerned about putting too much information "out there." From this point forward, I will be more (much more) selective about what information is public. It's okay to shoot the messenger. :)

Hadley Looking at Me Looking at Hadley...

 

She tickles me taking pictures. Sometimes, I have to take a picture of her taking a picture. I haven't gone through her memory card lately. I should probably do that soon just to see what interesting pictures she has taken. :)

Shivers...He's Cute...

 

Call Me Olivia...

Ella is on a huge Olivia kick right now. She had asked for a bunch of Olivia dress up clothes for Christmas. Santa delivered. She has just about worn the goods out though. There are holes in the slippers! HA! Have no fear; new Olivia dress up clothes have been ordered.

Anywhoodle. She dressed up one afternoon, and demanded to be called Olivia the rest of the day. She corrected me each and every time I called her Ella. She used a lot of...."What did you call me?"...and..."Excuse me, but Ella is not my name."


 

This child is either going to do fabulous things when she gets older...or...she will go full out villain and take over the world. I'm voting for fabulous.

This Child...

This child is going to push me over the edge one day. She is sassy and smart mouthed. Oh my goodness.


 

Wet and Wild...

It's just about time for a whole bunch of pictures of wet, wild, and happy codependents! We've been in the water once....


 

...and I'm sure we'll be in many more times in the coming months. So just be prepared...

Oh Goodness...

Hadley. She is a hot mess. She has kept me on my toes lately with activities. She plays the flute in the middle school band, and they recently traveled to Atlanta for a festival. We tagged along. In our own car. I could not have handled another four hours on a bus. And because we're fun like that.

As soon as the program was over, the littles wanted to find Hadley and give her a hug. Notice Layton's fro below. Bless her. You could tell that I had dropped her off at school at 6:00AM to get on the bus.

 

On a side note. When we took her bag to school, there were people looking inside of each child's bag before it could be placed in the pile to go under the bus. I understand that this was probably to check for contraband and safety hazards, but it did not give me the warm fuzzies. I was not pleased that some woman that I had never met was handling my child's underwear. Literally. I bit my tongue and didn't make a scene, but I was sorely tempted to throw a fit. Let me ask you. Would you be upset if someone was manhandling your child's underoos?

At Least I'm Not a Lohan...

-I was in the car driving to work. I was also rocking out. To a One Direction song. It hit me part way through that I only knew the words to a teenage smash because a bus load of tweens had spent 16 hours singing it on a bus in DC. I immediately changed stations and was mortified.

-Have I ever mentioned my obsession with true crime? It's so tacky. I have read way tooooo many unsolved crime stories and way tooooooo many stories regarding uber villains. When I read the one about Richard Ramirez, I couldn't even sleep. For real people. I called J. Like, I was in bed and scared silly, so I called J who was on his computer. I used the telephone and everything. I had to beg him to come sit with me a while because I was convinced ole Richard was going to get us any minute. J has banned me from reading true crime novels, etc.


-I am wearing pants that are too small today. It's most uncomfortable to have to suck in all day long. I don't recommend it. I ran into two ladies earlier in the day and one of them was saying that her pants were also too small. The other lady said, "It means you need to get your fat butt walking again." I love the fact that those two are such good friends. I love the fact that they had a nice visit with me even though we had never met before then.


-I feel dreadful. An enchanting head cold has been making the rounds at my house. I just happen to be the last person to catch it. I should actually be over it soon, but today, I am just not feeling well. I'm tired. And cranky.


-Layton is just about the coolest dude I have ever met. The other day I asked him, "Layton, what are you doing?" to which he replied, "Being awesome." I had to tweet it because I almost peed myself a little I laughed so hard.


-Let me just pause here and say that I definitely believe that evolution holds weight. If you don't happen to support evolution, adaptation, natural selection, whatever you choose to call it, please come help me clean out my car this weekend. The impressive amounts of fungus growing on the floorboard and the new species of insects living on them will no doubt make you scream, "DARWIN."


-Whenever I am feeling down, I remind myself that I'm not a Lohan. That would REALLY suck.

Sit with Me...

Hadley does a good job of keeping all the littles entertained when she is asked to do so.


 

...maybe watching the chickens for every bit of an hour doesn't seem like fun to you...but Hadley was able to make it an exciting hour for little Lacey. 

Will I Ever Learn?...

Clearly, I will never learn that my children are sick of being documented. I dropped by Field Day at Layton and Ella's school. Layton was happy to see me, but he was not happy to see my camera. I only took a handful of pictures as a result. I'm slacking as a mom-blogger.

 

Smiling Sunset...

 

Hammock Bomb...

At some point Jay wanted to relax with a glass of wine. The girls were not having it.

 

You've heard of photo bombing. This is hammock bombing. 

Oh Hadley...You Are Such a Mes...

I have no idea what Lacy said to make Hadley make this face. I just know it was funny the way they relaxed and goofed off on a hammock together.


 

Hang Around with Us...

Three little girls piled on a hammock.

One little girl smiled.

One little girl looked slightly annoyed.

And the third little girl?


 

She turned on the crazy face just for me. :)

Silly Layton Faces...

From time to time Layton will ask to have his picture made. It's almost always when he's making a face like this.


 

AND...you wonder why I seem so batty all the time.

Gosh, He Is Pretty...

Andrej Pejic.  He's the model in front. I love the fact that he models both women's and men's clothing. I love the fact that he is so over the top. Google some images for him. He is fascinating to me.

This Is as Close as It Gets...

Icky cellphone photo. You can see the serious lack of hair. :) Eventually, I'll be brave enough to post an actual picture of myself.

So, I've been doing some thinking. This is always a dangerous thing for me to do. :)

-My finger is looking so much better. It's sort of sloped now and will look just fine after it is all healed. You probably won't even notice that a chunk is gone. I still have to keep it covered up though. I'm down to wrapping it in two band aids instead of half a box. I slept without a band aid the other night and regretted it as soon as I got out of bed. #supersensitive Did I just hashtag something on my blog? Why, yes I did.

-I ordered new underwear. Probably too much information, but it was cause for celebration for me. Here's the thing. The shipping was $17 freaking dollars! I paid it though because I would have spent that much on gas driving to Victoria's Secret and having to eat at the fancy outdoor mall because without fail one of the nuggets would be starving as soon as we arrived at Bridgestreet. Not to mention the fact that Layton would have had to use the bathroom...ick...I'd rather pay the shipping than take him in a public restroom. I pawn that duty off on J as often as possible. Heck, I paid my dues with the two girls before Layton came along. I'm evil.


-I think it is time for a Tweetup of epic proportions. I am inviting all my tweethearts to gather soon. Details will follow, but if you are on twitter, be prepared for dinner and drinks soon....as in two-ish weeks. :)

-My pants are too big. At least, that's what I've been told today. I think they fit just fine, but it seems that  I have been wearing ill fitting pants for the majority of my life. My friend Kim talked me into buying a pair of jeans...I wanted to go one size bigger...she told me not to... J loves the jeans on me...I am horribly self aware when I wear them because I swear they are too small.



-I am feeling slightly swamped here lately. There have been so many things to do and places to go. In the last 15 days I have been to Washington DC, Nashville twice, Huntsville, Atlanta, Hartselle, Madison, and the usual places I go in a day for drop offs, pick ups, and whatnot. I've also had a couple of social functions and work to juggle with all of this. I just need a minute or two to breathe deep and relax. Or I need to figure out how to make an IV drip out of Mountain Dew.


-Some kind of bug has bitten me. In an almost unmentionable place. I had to ask a coworker to "look at my a$$ without laughing" the other day. Seriously. I think it might be a spider bite. It's about the size of a half dollar. If it's still there in a week or two, I'll go see a doctor.


-I follow a chick on twitter who is quite possibly the most ridiculous human being I have ever encountered. Every day is filled with nausea, don't know what to eat, "I'm a professional photographer," belly dancing (note: this is not a woman you want to see in any form of undress), GAH, >:(, "you're so sexist," say no to fat shame....It is almost unbelievable. I have tried to stop following her, but it is so entertaining to see what crazy crap she will come up with next. It's like her tweets are heroin. Bad for me, but so addicting....not in a good way. Most ridiculous human being ever. Wait, there was that one woman who stopped me in a store and told me not to use a Clorox Bleach Pen on colored clothes. No joke, the woman told me the story of how she used one on her daughter's stained clothes, and that it took the color right out of the garment. I didn't bother trying to explain to her. I see her from time to time around town, and every time I think to myself....Really? You were surprised that a bleach pen bleached your clothes?


-I am considering a spray tan. With my luck I would just look oompa loompa orange, but as a coworker and I were saying the other day....Orange is so hot right now...that Hanson. I'm doing my best Blue Steel right now. You know you want to do it too. We'll get spray tans and Magnum our way all over town. I can't help it. Zoolander cracks me up every time. It's SOOOOOO bad that it's hilarious.


-Catch ya later. I've got stuff to do.

They Got It...Almost...

Vietnam.


 

The size of the memorial and the number of names was enough to cause a moment of silence among a group of 12 and 13 year old girls. Hadley looked at it and said to me, "All of these people died?" I told her, "Yes." Hadley and her classmates reached out and felt the names in the stone. For a brief moment, they got it. They were silent. They forgot about boys and shoes. They read the names and breathed in the history. They walked in a line feeling the memorial and reflecting on the story of the conflict. There was a moment when they understood the importance of the trip to Washington DC. It was a beautiful moment that passed too quickly. 

Say What?...

This is supposed to be Hadley as an early human. It looked much better in the museum, but when it was emailed to me (by the awesome thingy in the museum), H-Dizzy seemed to be...well...you tell me what you think.