-I voted last week (or maybe it was weeks ago. who knows when I will get around to publishing this?). The gal who checked me off the list of registered voters did not find it amusing that I wanted to write my own name in for POTUS. Seriously, it was a joke, but the voter police nearly had an aneurysm.
-MMA. Why do all those "warriors" think of themselves as so awesome? I am having (well had, because this was saved via my handy dandy blogger app) to endure a conversation between a young guy who thinks he'll go pro and an older gentleman who actually believes this douche-baggery story. Yes, douche-baggery is how I am choosing to describe this encounter. Mr. MMA is now explaining that all the good fighters are really, really intelligent...apparently, you have to be a member of Mensa to be able to go pro...wait, this guy obviously isn't that much of a fighter; he's picking up all of his imaging files for a specialist...I'm not an expert, but if you're beat down so badly that you have to see a specialist and have surgery, you might have gotten your ass handed to you in your fight...that was in Tennessee...because so many million dollar pro MMA fights take place in Pulaski. Ok, let me just go ahead and ask, does anyone know of any professional MMA fights in Pulaski where the fighters make in excess of 15K for one fight? If so, clearly Dana White has mislead me as to the locations of the big fights.
-Earlier today I might have eaten two pieces of fudge instead of eating lunch. I just really wanted a bite of yummy, walnutty, chocolately, goodness. Don't worry; I did eat healthy at snack time before and after what can only be called complete, total, depravity. I consumed those two pieces of fudge much like necrotizing faciitis consumes flesh. It was gross, sweaty, and all out wrong. And it was sooo good.
-I cannot watch the news anymore. It's too depressing. Or too political.
-Not only have I been caught flossing at work. I have also been caught digging an atomic wedgie out of my pants. Let's just leave it at that. I'm embarrassed enough already. Feel better about yourself now?
-Contrary to popular belief, I do not have the ingredients labels of every food on the planet memorized. I say popular belief, but what I really mean is "anyone who might have to feed Layton." It's always the same conversation.
Them: Can Layton have chocolate milk?
Me: Sometimes. I'll have to read the ingredients.
Them: It's Purity brand.
Me: I have no idea; honestly, I'll have to read the ingredients.
It's not just chocolate milk. It's ice cream. Or cheese. Or fruit. Or canned beans. Or whatever.
See, that's where the issue begins. People assume that I associate what Layton eats and drinks with brand names. I do not. I cannot. That's not the way it works when you have what little man has. A brand name does not answer the question of whether or not it contains corn, gluten, peanuts, etc. You have to read the label.
Even if I have bought a particular brand before, I still read the label before giving it him. It is so easy for a company to substitute modified food starch for potato starch; I can't take a chance that the recipe has changed since my last purchase. When it comes to Layton's diet the answer is always, "Read the label." I feel bad for the school nurse. She is tasked with calling me to ask me about treats that are spontaneously given to his class. She has to call. I think it has more to do with liability coverage than anything. Still though, I feel bad that I never answer yes or no. It's always....You'll have to read the label to me. Try pronouncing Thiamine Mononitrate under pressure.
-I am irrationally drawn to the idea of hiking the Appalachian Trail. The whole thing. Maybe I should have done that before I had children. Hmmm.
-I have been very absent from Twitter lately. Work. I love the tax season of individual returns. So much work. So little time. Loves it. I miss my tweethearts though. I'll get caught up on April 18.
-I am wearing a shirt that you could see from outer space. Alternately named...A-Ro could not pass up the Banana Republic sale one year and wound up with a shirt so yellow that even E-Ro said it was loud. I muted the color for you. Wow. This shirt would look so much better as a pastel.
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-I need some ideas for lunches. I do a lot of salads and fruits and veggies. I need something that is different but still super low in calories. Ideas? Suggestions?
-Ella's clothes that I ordered from Blessed Be the Name came in, and I just about squealed out loud. Sooooooo cute!!! She has already worn two pairs of the pants/shorts and one of the shirts. My only regret was not ordering more for her. I finally went through the Summer clothes, and she is going to need several things this year. Grrrooowwttthhh. She might sport some seriously shorty shorts for a few weeks until I get some new ones. :)
-In other news, I am wearing a pair of pants that I LOVE. Or at least, I did until Ella looked at me this morning and asked, "Mommy, what are you wearing?" I told her they were cute pants. She said, "You may want to rethink those pants." I have a feeling that her mouth is going to get her in trouble one of these days.
-I am feeling Springy.
