You Tricked Me...

Labels. Those gosh darn food labels. I'm not talking about the ingredients lists. I am talking about the front side labels. Looky here! Log Cabin doesn't have high fructose corn syrup. On the front side of the label it looks like something Layton might be able to have.

Turn the bottle around, and it still has corn syrup just not high fructose corn syrup. I have been giving Log Cabin the stink eye for nearly 5 years because of this. 

Random Dinner in Cell Phone Pictures...

Keep in mind that I started laughing so hard at him that these pictures are blurry and ridiculous.

He was in full on silly mode. 

A Few Random Thoughts with Friends...

-I am guilty of poor accessorizing. I have never gotten the hang of what jewelry goes with what outfit. I try, but I always seem to wind up with too much or too little or things that don't go together at all. Jewelry. Gets me every time. 

I have a friend who just got engaged. I went to see her and ohhh and ahhhh over her ring. It is a beautiful ring. That got me thinking. When was the last time I wore my engagement ring and wedding band? I have absolutely no idea. I know I wore each during tax season some. Have I worn either since then? J hasn't worn a ring in years - as in so many years that I don't remember the last time he did wear one. I only wear mine every now and then except for during tax season. Hey, it's my version of dressing up.

Let's take a poll. Do you wear your wedding/engagement bling everyday? Do you think it is important to wear a ring? Does it bother you if your spouse doesn't wear a wedding band? 

-Let's get lighthearted.

-Swimming is hard work, yo. One must relax while floating and kicking in the Elk River. He's always in entertainment mode. 

-If you leave your phone unattended for any length of time, Ella will take 964 selfies for your viewing pleasure. This is a screenshot of a few. She seems to think it is funny to take a bunch and then let you find them later. Ok, it actually is kind of funny.

-I have a Pinterest account. I don't use it though. All the pretty pictures make me feel inadequate as a human being. People, I cannot make cute snacks. A sock bun ain't gonna happen in my house because I would get it so tangled that a 911 to Dantera would have to be placed. Pinterest is clearly Satan's website.

-There are so many random pictures on my SD card. I think I took a few, and I know Ella has taken a lot. This one, though, Layton took. I was kicking the soccer ball with him in the front yard and had snapped a few pictures of him. He was giving me a hug, and the camera was dangling around my neck. Little man pushed the button and started giggling like crazy. He really thought he had pulled a seriously funny stunt. :) All he got was - more adorable and a blurry picture of my shoes. 

-Have you been to YellowHammer Brewery? J and I have gone a few times. It is a really neat place with a biergarten that makes me want to open my own taproom. The last time we went was a couple of weeks ago. Skinny Lister played a set in the biergarten on their way to Bonnaroo. Ignore the poor quality of this picture. I had already had a beer or two and didn't turn the flash on. Ha! Speaking of beer...

-This is my favorite beer. I have been on a Heineken kick since last Fall. I hardly ever drink wine these days, and wine used to be my go to beverage. If you happen to visit YellowHammer, I recommend the Rebellion. 

-Should I include an actual hyperlink? Yes, I think I should.

-Rickrolling. Never gets old. Dang, my car is dusty. Note to self: Clean that thing!

Secondary Awareness...

Ella might be the most adult ten year old I have ever encountered. She puts herself to bed. She sets her own alarm for the weekdays. She showers unprompted. She cleans her messes without being asked. She arranges her own childcare if she thinks J and I need a night away. You read that correctly. She (hand to God) called J's parents and asked them if "us kids" could spend the night during the weekend of our anniversary because she wanted us to have a good night out. Then, she came to inform us that we needed to drop them off with the grands later in the day because she had arranged for us to have the night to ourselves. What ten year old does such a thing?

You know what she reminds me of??? Those commercials where the kids come up with insane explanations for how Cheez-Its get all that flavor in one, tiny square. How does all of that adult energy fit in a little person? I don't recall ever standing too close to a particle accelerator or being bitten by a mutated spider or experiencing large doses of gamma radiation while pregnant with her, so I'm guessing it isn't really a super power.

To be such an old soul in so many ways, she is also surprisingly sweet and naive. She will be eleven in a matter of weeks but still believes wholeheartedly in Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, and Happily Ever After. Most importantly, she still believes in me. 

Me - her Mommy - the best on the planet in her eyes - safe haven - care giver. 

She does not yet realize that I am deeply flawed and fail at a variety of tasks daily. She hasn't even noticed the misplaced modifier in her baby book. When I burn the toast, she still smiles while eating it. When I forget that I promised to take her somewhere, she gently reminds me later. She hasn't noticed that I have never been the room mother at school. Will she ever? Even if she does notice all of the mistakes, shortcomings, and white out, I have a feeling she will still love me. Ella is a precious soul. 

I keep thinking I will get the hang of this whole mothering thing eventually, but it just doesn't come naturally or easily to me. It is very difficult. Thank goodness such a sweet child is stuck in the middle.

Gotta Hand It to Ya...

The weekend is still several days away. Bah Humbug!! This past weekend was so wonderful that I didn't want it to end. I am hoping this one will be wonderful as well. Actually, I have no doubt that it will be off the charts amazing!

This sweet hand will be helping with dinner; I am positive. :)

These sweet hands will probably do some more fishing. 

This sweet hand will get nasty and have to be disinfected. As usual. 

Let's get through the next couple of days and get out part-ay on!!!!!!

Bending the Lines...

I wish I had snapped this picture faster than I did. Why? Because Layton is standing on one foot with the other one lifted high enough to touch his knee to his head. I just barely captured this and didn't have time to zoom out before he moved on to more wacky poses. :)

He is so full of himself. I cannot help myself. I would drink the kool aid if he told me to.

Seriously, I think the curls have magical powers that make me stupid and giddy.

Yeah, he has me hooked. I am like a common junkie itching for my next fix of whatever it is he gives. 

Is there rehab for this kind of thing? 

Flamingos and Teepees...

-I am all over the place lately. Splitting my time between a million different projects and jobs is hard core. You know what they say though - go hard, or go home. I just wish I could remember where I am going and what I am working on. Is today a deadline? Heck, I have no clue. It's a miracle if I remember to set the alarm clock every night. Go hard, or go home, right?

Thank you, failblog, for providing me with this picture that describes my life.

-There was a time when I blogged often. Sometimes I would have two or three posts scheduled for each day. I am lucky if I schedule three posts a month now. I have lost my blogging mojo. This was made even more obvious when a stalker reader sent me this picture. 

I wanted to reply and say, "Who charts this crap? It's not like my blog is even good." Bwhaahah. 

A Few Pictures Because I am too Lazy to Blog...

-Layton showing off. Or something. 

-Hadley's drawing that creeps me out a little. I should hide her pencils.

-Layton pouting. I made him leave the house one day. He is the biggest home body I ever did meet. 

Stop...

In the name of love? Collaborate and listen? Hammertime?

That never gets old, unlike the cheese in my refrigerator. Speaking of rotten food, I am on a streak of fussing about school lunches right now, and school isn't even in session! I normally only go eat lunch with each of my children once a year. There are two reasons for this. 1.) That many pint-sized, masticating humans makes me very thirsty for bourbon. My nerves cannot handle school lunch. 2.) Without fail I lose my appetite after seeing what these kids are eating and not eating. Fish bites definitely cause me to taste saltwater in the back of my throat, and seeing a child eat the processed tater tots while throwing away the syrupy fruit, makes me equally as sick. I (personally) feel that the spirit of the school lunch program cannot be quenched due to the budgetary constraints in many school systems. Eating healthy is more expensive than eating processed cardboard - plain and simple.

Wait, where was I going with this post? Oh, that's right. Here...

Layton is already a little bored with Summer. He can't even handle having his picture made anymore, and I only got to take a few so far this Summer break. Hence, I need to get him busy, so he won't notice me stalking him with 18.1 mega pixels. Stalk may be too strong a word. Or not.

What are your favorite activities for keeping your children occupied during the Summer? Mine always attend at least 3 VBS sessions, soccer camp, etc. This year I am sending them to sleep over camp as well. BUT, I am still short on activities to keep their brains from starting to atrophy toward the end of July. So, bring it on. What do you do with your littles? More importantly, how can I convince you to take care of my littles as well? Bwhahahaha.

When I Least Expect....

When I least expect to see it, my SD card will have pictures that Ella took unbeknownst to me. Strangely enough, she uses my camera a good bit when I am not looking. She also likes to get permission to use my camera and then sneak pictures of us. It's actually endearing and adorable if you think about it. Secret snapshots while we aren't looking at her. We are busy talking about something else convinced she is photographing her swimming friends or spiders or a boat.

Do I have any clue what we were laughing about? Of course not! Clearly, I was laughing pretty hard and squealing out loud. J's eyes have disappeared. Dang, that must have been some funny beeswax.

A few minutes later we were calm again. 

Someday, I will have to thank her for being a sneaky photog.

The Kind of People...

The Seiberts are the kind of people who inspire me to work harder, volunteer more, aim higher, and be more involved in my community. Chris, Tiffany, and their energetic boys are the kind of people who make a difference. Vote for Chris Seibert!!!!