I cannot count the number of times in my life that I have heard the following statement:
You can do anything you want.
Teachers, parents, motivational speakers...they all kept telling the females of my generation that we could do anything we want. They pushed the issue...women can do anything that men can do. For the most part, I grew up believing that I could pursue any career I wanted to.
So, I went to college. I pursued my education. I worked hard. I entered the workforce, and I still worked hard.
Because I can do anything I put my mind to. Right?
Then, our family began to expand. I paid for daycare. I still pay for daycare. And, I still worked hard.
Because I can succeed in any job I want. Right?
The work didn't stop at the office. As our family grew, so did the piles of laundry and toys. The fingerprints on the glass seemed to multiply while I was asleep at night. So, I worked harder to try and keep up with the office, the house, the husband, the children.
After all, I can do anything I want to. Right?
I find myself at war...an internal war between my emotion and my cognition. The brain half of the war keeps telling me to just deal with it and keep working. The heart half of the war keeps telling me to be more like June Cleaver.
How does anyone ever truly find the balance between family and career? Is there a magic formula that I haven't figured out yet? Do I need antidepressants? Should I call Oprah's booking agent?
It seems to me that many women I know struggle with this.
Women who were pushed to stay home with the children dreamed of equality in the workforce. Women who work dream of staying home with the children.
My math skills are admittedly not what they once were, so I'm having trouble solving this equation.
4 comments:
I'm single, so I don't really know, but I can see that I would be stuck in between as well! I always thought I'd work until we had kids and then stay home, but who knows!
I am definitely glad that everyone told me I could do whatever I wanted now as a single woman though. What would I have done when my ex left me if I hadn't had a career? I don't want to think about it!
What an awesome post.
Mind if I repost?!?
If only there were an answer!
I've heard people say being a SAHM is the hardest job in the world, but I think being a working mom has to be the hardest job in the world, because you're doing two full time jobs.
I really don't think I could do both.
When I quit working it was a sacrifice financially on one hand. But on the other at least half my income would have went to pay childcare anyway. But it still took some adjusting, and a leap of faith.
But there are definitely days when I think four years of college and $20,000 in student loans that I'm still paying off, for what?
Sometimes I tell people I went to college just so I could spend $50,000 to find a husband.
I guess the bottom line is that you have to do what's best for you and your family.
Love this post. I think so many people can relate to it. One of the big things for me was articulating what it was that I really wanted. Once I did that, I realized that I could actually get that without a traditional career, and when I left the workforce it gave me so much more free time to hone in on the goals that truly mattered to me.
I think one of the *huge* things we women face is that our society is not made up of close-knit communities the way it used to be, and therefore if you leave the workforce it's like you're on your own desert island. You have no easy opportunities for socializing, nobody (except your husband) to recognize your work, no opportunities to be known and appreciated for your skills, etc. I actually put up a whole website talking about that stuff a few years ago: www.suburbanceo.com
Anyway, all that is to say: Great post, and I think you've hit on something a lot of us struggle with. :)
Post a Comment