Ella couldn't wait to hold the new baby, Ally.
I couldn't wait to hold the baby either. The thing about babies is that they all have this dumbing effect on me.
You can almost see it on my face in the picture of me holding her. Whenever I hold a baby, my IQ drops by 20 points. I think, for just a moment, that I want to have another baby. The sweet smell of new person. The softness of new skin. It's all so intoxicating.
Then, without fail one of my children will make noise. Layton will fake a burp. Hadley will ask for a puppy. Ella will ask me to hold her instead of the baby. And someone will start to cry.
I will start to feel my brain go back to normal and hand the baby back to its mother. I remember those sleepless nights, strange smears on my shirt, the constant changing of diapers, the hostage like feeling of breastfeeding........and I know that I am done having babies. Having older children is like rehab for women of childbearing age.
