Tuesday, July 20, 2010

My Husband Hit On A Nurse...

I was reading a post over at Pampers and Pinot that reminded me of a seriously funny moment in our history. We had only been married about a year when Jay had to have his wisdom teeth removed. Being the good wife that I am, please muffle your laughs, I scheduled an appointment for him.

We drove to the surgeon's office that morning, and everything was going quite well. We crossed paths with my mother...my little sister was having her wisdom teeth out the same day! Jay went back for the procedure, and I read a bunch of trash magazines.

A lovely nurse came out to get me. I followed her to recovery. There he was...my poor husband all drugged up with gauze hanging from his mouth. When the nurse leaned over to remove the gauze, Jay proceeded to start rubbing her arm and telling her how pretty she was. We're talking full on flirting. His whole hand was caressing the entire length of this woman's fore arm as he slurred on and on about how she was the prettiest nurse and the nicest nurse ever.

Yeah, I was vomiting in the trash bin. Not really.

I was trying my hardest not to laugh because the poor fellow was drugged up and actually thought he had a chance with this woman...who just spent untold amounts of time assisting an oral surgeon with digging chunks of tooth out of his gums. Would you want a date with a man whose oral hygiene you just finished tending to?

So, I sat down in the chair, and hubs noticed I was there. He asked me the time...which I am about to paraphrase because I don't remember the exact times...

Jay: What time is it?
Me: 9:52
Jay: That's good. Wasn't the nurse pretty?
Me: Yes dear, she was a regular hottie.
Jay: What time is it?
Me: 9:52
Jay: I feel good.
Me: Ok, try to be quiet and still.
Jay: Where's the nurse?
Me: I'm sure she has other patients.
Jay: Ok. What time is it?
Me: 9:52
Jay: Did you like the nurse?
Me: She seems ok.
Jay: What time is it?
Me: 9:53
Jay: Where's the nurse?
Me: I don't...
Jay: But what time is it?
Me: 9:53

And so this continues for two or three minutes. He kept asking for his hot nurse and the time. At least he was gutsy enough to do it in front of me! Ha!!