Lava, Grand Slams, and Abortifacients...

-Ella called me while I was at work. She was hanging out with her grandparents. She left me the sweetest voice mail. Why does that precious child love me so much? It seriously made my day to hear her little voice calling to check on me and see how my day was going. For real, yo, she has the most precious phone voice ever. 

-Little man is all about tennis right now. I am not entirely sure why because he has never shown an interest in it until recently. He ran and ran and ran at the farm a few weeks ago playing tennis. He finally had to sit down and chill out because he was so tired and hot. Yeah, we play in the grass or on the driveway. We are grassy, old school folks.

-I do like tennis though. I took a few lessons when I was a kid. Not many. Enough to know that I would have enjoyed it had I spent more time practicing. Layton wants to go to the tennis courts every day and play. I keep telling him "tomorrow." Maybe he won't notice that tomorrow actually means April 16th...

-I let a stream of profanity escape my mouth the other morning. Sweet Shelia at work told me to get the soap and wash my mouth out with it. Do you think she would let me use Johnson's baby soap? Given what came out of my mouth, I think she was leaning more toward Lava brand. I was stressed; throw me a bone. 

-It snowed earlier this week. It didn't stick, but there was snow. I am over Winter. I am ready for Spring. The snow needs to stop. Stat. 

-Let's talk Hobby Lobby. What say you regarding the argument presented to the Supreme Court this week? Do you believe that Hobby Lobby should be exempt from the Affordable Care Act based on the religious beliefs of the owners? I have (personally) thought about a number of different positions regarding Hobby Lobby. 

I have come to the conclusion that the least dangerous result would be for the court to enforce the ACA on Hobby Lobby. I think that allowing Hobby Lobby out of Obamacare is a bit of precedence that I don't necessarily like for the future. Sure, the owners of this privately owned business have the right to be conservative Christians, but should I find myself desperate for a job and employed by them, they do not have the right to enforce their beliefs on me and my health care options. Right?

Also, I can totally see Donald Trump claiming that paying taxes is against the religious beliefs of his corporation. Um, this was meant to be humorous.

I only have a few beliefs that are absolutely concrete in my heart. One of those beliefs is that there must be a clear separation between religion and government  - "not to protect religion from government but to protect the government from religious zealots."

Where do you stand on Hobby Lobby? Even though I don't like the Affordable Care Act the way it is currently in place, I still can't go to bat for the Lobby. 

-Also, I really like strawberry ice cream but rarely buy it.

Skinny Wednesday...

Hello! I hope you are all having a marvelous day. I am hoping for a good day, myself. The last several days have been full of adrenaline and busy stuff. I like busy though. Time at work passes faster if I am super busy. Although, the longest hour of the day is the last one in the office. 8:00 - lunch feels like :30, and even the few hours after lunch pass pretty quick. That last hour though....will suck the life out of anyone. Am I right? 

I have been doing much better with my diet. I don't mean diet as in I am on a diet. I mean that my overall diet is healthier than ever. This has been a long time coming. I feel better when I eat good food. I have lost a few el bees as a result. I have quite a few more to lose before I reach my goal. I am getting borderline obsessed with what I eat. I'm not going to go full on Christina Ricci or anything. 

There have been a few days recently that were weather wonderful. I am ready for more outside time. There is nothing better than a day that is not too hot and not too cold. A day when I can walk around outside all day without freezing or sweating. I love nice weather...

Things I do not love? Broken bones. She was surprisingly calm while we were at the hospital. 

She was riding and jumping and having a great afternoon with all things horse. The horse stopped. Hadley did not and went end over end off the horse.

 The first thing she asked was, "When can I ride again?"

The first thing I asked was for narcotics. For me. Ok, I'm just kidding about that part. I will admit that I had a whiskey drink after getting her home and settled in bed that night. My nerves were fried by the time the whole thing was taken care of that night. Everything will be fine though. Boot, crutches, cast after the swelling goes down, etc. Bones heal. 

In the night I took her pain medicine to her. I said, "Don't do drugs, but here is a loratab." 

I filled out my application for a new reality show about super moms right after that. 

Take it easy friends. Feel great about yourselves. :)

Cheeze It, I Have Lost What Little I Had....

-It is official. I have lost the last bit of normalcy I had going for me. Check with me on April 17th to see if I have recovered any...I feel kind of like Ella looks in this picture. Boy thing was particularly high energy and full of himself that day.

-Friends. I think it is important to make really, really good friends. I happen to have some friends that I, well, this - cannot fathom how boring life would be without them. I realized that I had made the kind of life long bosom buddies that writers base movie characters on quite a while back. Sometimes midnight rolls around, and we will all still be sitting on the porch talking and laughing. These are the people I call and text when my day goes to hell. These are the people I force to buy tequila shots on my birthday. These are the people who will always lift my spirit. If you only take one thing away from this blog ever, take this piece of advice. Find a few people who love your guts even when you smell bad, and make yourself the fungus on their roots. 

-Should I be worried that J and I email each other in haiku? For some reason, this seems like it might possibly be outside the box marked normal. It's not something that we do all the time though, so we're still okay...right? 

-This little fellow stays up way too late at night. He has trouble waking up in the mornings as a result. When I wake him up, I sit down on the edge of his bed and rub his back. The other morning he moved from the bed to my lap and went back to sleep immediately. I didn't want to leave the house after that. Sitting with him curled up in my lap was the best thing that happened to me all week. It's been downhill ever since. 

-I tried to explain the solstices and equinoxes to the youngest two. That went about as well as the time I tried to explain the nuclear plant to them. For the record, young children cannot understand fission. Or how to eat without leaving crumbs all over the floor.

-Layton can say anything he wants, and somehow, it never makes me mad. I think it is because of the dangerous combination of curls and dimples. If you don't look directly at the dimples and curls, you will get mad when he calls your belly squishy and booty big. BUT. If you allow the dimples and curls into your field of vision, you will think it is adorable that he compared your pants to the sails of the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria. I even said thank you once when he told me that I smelled like wet goat.
Even with the sun in his face, he is glorious.

-I have so much more to spill, but I don't have time right now....

On What Planet...

Ella. Sweet Ella. She is my middle child and is full of wonder and joy. She is a curious person who asks lots of questions - some about things of which she needs no knowledge. Ella is without a doubt one of the most interesting souls I have ever been fortunate enough to know and love. 

I present to you...Ella's latest obsession...the lawn mower...

The good news is that anytime the farm needs a thorough mow, Ella will be more than happy to take out the weeds and grass.

But seriously. What 10 year old girl spends an hour and a half riding on the mower WITHOUT ACTUALLY CUTTING THE GRASS????? Child just cruised around on it like it was a four wheeler or RTV. 

You can thank me for making your children seem so normal later.

Down on Me...

Last Sunday was fabulous. The weather was nice enough that we could run around outside. We played tennis in the yard and went for a long walk through the fields. It was the best day I have had in a while. Of course, I still had plenty of work to do, but I was able to enjoy the sunshine too. 

Sunshine can only mean one thing. Ella wearing her sunglasses.

She really thinks she is too cool for school. 

On another note, I have a question. I ordered some items over three months ago from a direct seller. A couple of the items were Christmas presents for the girls, and the seller knew that at the time. I paid her. I still have not received my merchandise. I have emailed her and facebook messaged her (more than once), and she didn't even respond. I have talked to some other people who ordered from her at the same event. Some have received their items; some have not. I am trying really hard not to go to her facebook page and post on her wall that I am upset. This is unacceptable though. What would you do? 

Rejection and Acceptance...

-I am on a serious roll...of sarcasm and not filtering the words coming out of my mouth. My poor coworkers have heard some atrocious language lately. Combine that with my almost manic appearance, and it is a miracle that no one has tried to commit me.

-Truth. I listen to vulgar and profanity laced music while I am working. I have my ear buds in my ears, and it might look like I am jamming out to something fun. Right now, at this minute, I am listening to You Can Leave Your Hat On. Let's just hope I don't start singing out loud because I would be mortified if any of my coworkers began stripping. I made the mistake of singing out loud while rocking out to some Lily Allen one day. Let's just say that it is not okay to sing the eff word repeatedly in front of your coworkers.

-I came across this old picture of Layton and couldn't help but smile. He looks so brown and smooth. He is positively delicious. I am ready for him to get his Summer skin back. :)




-There is something magical about a good day. At the end of a good day, I feel like I could do anything. Absolutely anything. Other days I feel homicidal. Just being real.

-I had a good time here....

True, it's a little skeezy up in the alley, but a trip to Nashville isn't complete without it. :)

-This past weekend brought something new to our home. A date. The H-Dizzy had her first date to a formal dance. It was cute and adorable. Her friend that lives in Auburn came up and escorted her. I would post a picture, but I think Hadley might never forgive me. They rode in a limo. I was surprisingly calm about the whole thing. You would think that I would act a fool about something like that, but I kept it together. I didn't threaten to kill anyone.

-J - And the songbirds keep singing like they know the score
  And I love you, I love you, I love you
Like never before


-Over using the word epic is a hobby of mine. I am having an epic time getting all of my work finished. That tax return was epic. Her reaction to her balance due was epic. Don't bother taking the time to point out to me that I'm being melodramatic about it. I will epic-ly give you the finger.

-Put a fork in me. I be dunzo.

Like Never Before...

-There was iffy weather last night here. Naders. At least, it sounds like naders when local rednecks say tornadoes. I wasn't home for it though. The Hospice Chili Challenge is this weekend, and my friends Kim and Shannon needed to borrow my crock pot. I took the pot to them, and then the sirens started blaring about the time I was going to leave. I decided to stick out the rain and naders at Kim's house. I did not want to be walking down the road in that wind and rain. Ha! Ella texted me...

I was laughing so hard at the way she stated that the thunder and lightning freaks her out, man. She has been a good bit more scared of storms since 2011. I understand why she is nervous about storms. I do not understand why she and Layton were drafting their wills during all of this. Yes, you read that right. Ella and Layton each wrote a will during the storm in case the weather forced an exit from this world. 

FYI: Ella wants to be buried with her pillow, and I get to keep her special blanky. Layton is leaving me his dirty laundry which isn't any different than what he gives me nowadays. Now, a rational person would have explained to the littles that making their final preparations was not necessary. Instead, J chose to put on rubber boots and run through the house screaming about how the nader was going to get us all -  metaphorically injecting the littles with adrenaline, fear, and enough energy to power North Alabama. Ella and Layton loved every second of it. Meanwhile, Hadley was asleep on the sofa. I briefly thought about chasing J around the house when 11:30 hit and the littles were watching late night TV on my bed. 

-This week has been hard. I am not going to lie and tell you that I am weathering it well. I am tired. I am stressed. I am on the verge of screaming the Eff word at total strangers. Enjoy my public breakdown. 

-I recently changed my twitter avatar to this picture. 

I thought it was funny. Other people seem to think it is in poor taste. Come on, now. That is funny! Whatever, I'll top it off later. 

-Tonight is our tax season night out at the firm. I am looking forward to it. Well, I think I am actually just looking forward to a night when I don't have to work. Bwhahahahaha. You know how crazy we accountants are....we are wild, crazy people. Are you hyperventilating from laughter yet? I once went to a continuing ed class where they had a booth set up for CPAs to do stand up comedy. I pointed out to the organizer that accountants are void of humor. For crying out loud, we choose to do tax returns for a living and get excited about capital gains. Whatever, top it off. 

Cruel and Unusual...

This is the post in which you will lose any respect you ever had for me. 

Ella got prescription sunglasses at her most recent eye exam. She was so excited about them that she slept in them that night. 

And, I am so heartless that I turned on the light and took a picture of her asleep in her sunglasses.

And then I posted it on the Internets. Dang, it's cute though. I think it was money well spent. 

On the Go...

Life is busy. Correction: My life is busy. Sometimes I see women who appear to have loads of disposable time. I kind of envy their two hour lunch dates and trips to the mall on a random Thursday evening. I, on the other hand, eat lunch on the go a lot and don't take random trips to the mall. I order. If new underwear cannot magically appear on my front porch in a UPS box, then I ain't gettin' no new drawers. 

Yes, all of this has a point. A point that I am mentally obsessing about lately.

J and I took a mini-weekend trip to Nashville a few weeks back. It was the last weekend I had before things get so busy at work that I get cranky. Me, cranky? Never. (This is where you roll your eyes because I turn into an ϋber witch fairly early during sweeps.) While we were there, we happened upon a whole street of mobile vendors. - NOT JUST FOOD TRUCKS. Clothing stores, yarn stores, the whole kit and kaboodle. - Can some of these stores come hang out in front of my office? I could zip our front during lunch; try on some snazzy pants; and be finished with all my shopping needs. Bam. 

This is genius.

O, Fashion where art thou? 

Personally, I can foresee a time when many businesses give up traditional brick and mortar store fronts. How about you?

There's Snow Business...

I have to share a few more pictures from our rare snow last week. 

Ella (as usual) wanted 675 pictures taken of her running around in the snow. 

I have no idea what this hat/mitten combo is supposed to be, but I think it might be something similar to a moose. ???

Hadley didn't want her picture made. There is always around that. Bwhahahaha.

What snow is complete without tilting your head back to taste it? 

Oh, dimples, slays me every time.

Snow More...

This week was an exciting one for the Enabler and the Codependents. It snowed!

Luckily, I had stopped at the Elkmont Piggly Wiggly and picked up enough groceries for us to survive being snowed in for a day or two. If you live in the North, please stop laughing. Seriously, I can only recall a hand full of times in my whole life when there has been enough snow for a snowman here. It's a rare occurrence, and our transportation departments do not have the resources or equipment to keep the roads dry and safe. A few inches of snow equals three snow days in Bama. 

It was a very beautiful. Cold. But beautiful.

I love the way the snow looks on the branches of our tree out front. 

When the snow first started coming down, we all went outside and played in it for a bit. I tilted my head back and took this picture. Looking straight up at the snow coming down was odd. It photographed even more odd. Maybe it is because this was in the evening when the sun was starting to set. 

Snowballs were flung at the house. 

The tree out front was clumped up with white fun.

I got a chance to wear my kick a$$ snow boots that I haven't had out of the closet since January 2011. These puppies rock.

Yes, Layton wore pajamas and rain boots. Outside. Did I care? No.

Ella had the most fun in the snow out of all of us. She was out in it non-stop. She even demanded a ride on the sled. It was my dad's and is old and worn out. Someone has to pull the sled because it is so old that it doesn't work quite right. 

J was kind enough to drag her around the neighborhood. 

This is our backyard. 

Did I mention Ella had a blast in the snow? It gave her an excuse to wear her new sunglasses too. They have prescription lenses. She thinks she is dope.

The littles worked on a snowman and threw snowballs at J. 

The snow man turned out pretty good. I was right proud of Ella for finishing it by herself. Layton got tired of the cold and came inside. 

I have some more pictures that are fun. I will post those later as well. 

Honest Feelingz...

-There was supposed to be a snow storm today. Instead it has rained all day and been icky. It has snowed for a while, but it is too warm for anything to stick. Blah. I need some sunshine.

-I think I need to buy this hoodie from Riffraff. Bwhahahahaha! 

-Charter keeps sending me emails about how the great movies on demand for Valentine's Day. I find it highly annoying.

-I really didn't have much to say other than that. lol. I am boring today.

And I Will Strike Down upon Thee...

-Imagine the panic that set in the moment I looked at my clock and realized that I should have already been on the road. The children were going to be late to school. Again. I mulled over my choices for the excuse I was going to give each office.

  A. An alien spaceship fried my alarm clock with gamma radiation. Truthfully, this excuse has never once worked but never fails to entertain the office staff because I am trying so hard to avoid the unexcused tardy.
  B. Snow. There was so much snow. Ok, this one would only work if we lived somewhere other than Alabama. It would also help if there were actually snow outside.
  C. I was vomiting profusely. No, bad idea. Move along.
  D. Own it. Own the truth and confess at all three schools that I am pro tardy. No, I do not mean pro tardy as in I am in favor of being tardy. I mean pro tardy as in I have done this enough to be a professional at it. I am pro tardy.

I decided to go with option D - the embarrassing truth and unexcused tardies all around. I'm like Oprah with tardies. You get a tardy! You get a tardy! Everybody gets a tardy!!



-It is that time of year. The time of year when love commercials are a plenty. 99.9% of the time commercials that are about Valentine's Day disgust me. Excuse me while I go throw up. Valentine's Day = Not. My. Thing.

-I have a serious spam problem with this blog. I have posted screen shots of some of the emails I receive daily. I get 5-7 of them a day. The only thing that stops the emails is taking my blog off the Internet. As has been pointed out to me recently by a complete stranger, my family must be completely embarrassed by what I write for this blog. So, I have spam and embarrass my family. It's a good thing I have a day job and don't make my living from this blog.

-Building on the last paragraph - when a complete stranger stopped me in Publix to ask if I was ashamed of myself for humiliating myself on the Internet, I literally had no words come out of my mouth. I looked at this woman who has clearly read my blog and felt compelled to approach me in the grocery store and thought, "Seriously? You read my blog and don't know me and thought it would be a good idea to stop me in public to degrade my 40 page views a month blog? You have more issues than I do, lady." That's what I thought, but I knew that it would lead to confrontation or an ugly scene if I actually said it out loud. So I remained speechless. Right there by the pot roasts. What words could I possibly say to this woman judging me for being open and honest about the chaos in my head and in my life? I really wanted to say an obscenity. Instead, I was voiceless. And I nodded my head and walked away. I was almost proud of that moment.


-I am not proud of the tongue lashing I issued to the poor man who rang our doorbell early last Saturday morning. He was out looking for work and wanted to know if I wanted my shrubs trimmed. I should have politely told him no. Instead, I said something along the lines of, "I don't want anything trimmed by someone who thinks it is acceptable to wake me up on a Saturday morning...." That was the opening line. I cannot even bring myself to repeat what followed. Samuel L. Jackson would probably be proud of it though.

For Sale....

One slightly used little boy. 

Low mileage. 

Takes premium fuel. 

Maybe I'll keep him. 

Blaspheme...

For most of my life, I have had a deep love for paper and words. Long before I understood what the combination of words and paper would mean to me, I kept a stash of paper with me at all times. My parents often talked about the folds of paper that I would carry under my fat, toddler arm like a purse. An actual purse would be stuffed under the other arm. I toddled about the yard and house completely unable to lift my arms without losing my two prized possessions - my paper and my purse.

I learned to read at a relatively young age. I was hooked. There wasn't anything that I didn't want to read. I looked forward to Christmas and my birthday because I knew my grandfather would give me a sum of money. That meant I could buy more books. I figured out that I could only get to and from the library with assistance from adults, so I would buy books that I wouldn't mind reading more than once to pass the time between trips to the library.

 My father would take me to the old library in the Summer months. I thought it was haunted, but the whole building smelled like my imagination felt. My mother preferred the newer library. I remember being annoyed that they didn't want to go to the library every day. Looking back, I realize that I should have been aiming for books much longer than the ones I picked. A Sweet Valley Twins book or a cheesy R.L. Stine novella was only going to consume a few hours of my time. I fully understood what I should have been reading shortly after my older brother began high school. He had novels assigned to him to read for school! This one fact made me long to be a high school student too. And so, I began to pick up his leftover paperbacks. 

Those completed high school assignments changed the way I read. Reading became laborious in the best way imaginable. It is religious for me. I prefer to read with paper and pen nearby. As I work my way through the story, I make notes about things I want to read more about; words I don't know; sentence structure that widens my eyes; and any other thought that needs to be preserved. If I read a book and don't need a dictionary, the book wasn't worth reading. I do read some of those fluff novels every year purely for the entertainment value even though I know that it didn't add any wrinkles to my brain.

In fact, I think I will go read a book now. Just thinking about it makes me want to read. What are your all time favorite books? 

Move It, Letterman...

The Top Ten Signs It is Tax Season


1. I buy new socks instead of taking the time to wash the dirty ones. This is a reality of which I am not proud.

2. I throw away J's "dishes" instead of washing them. Dishes is a subjective term for the empty pickle jars and frozen food trays he uses to drink and eat from respectively.

3. I have food in my hair. Don't even ask. I don't know how it happens or why it happens to me often, but I normally do find food in my hair during February Sweeps.

4. I start referring to my job as February Sweeps. It sounds more glamorous than tax season. Like a hit TV show.

5. Your name is Jerry...but I have called you Jackson, Jeremiah, Jason, and Johnson all in the last 15 minutes because my mind is constantly making a list of things to be done at work. So, I cannot remember your name and am trying to get close. Cut me some slack.

6. There is an inverse relationship between my glasses of wine consumed and hours at work. Don't nobody got time for a hangover. How ghetto was that?

7. I just flicked off the drive thru attendant at Chick-Fil-A. Those people are saintly, but even saints cannot avoid the wrath of a busy, mother of three struggling her way through February Sweeps. How dare that place change up my favorite salad? Blasphemy.

8. My children look petrified at all times. They live in constant fear that this will be the season from which there is no return. They are not sleep deprived or in trouble; they are worried I am going to actually break. Or break the man who just pulled out in front of me at Publix.

9. J looks slightly confused and hurt. This is because I holler the names of other men in bed. That came out wrong. I talk in my sleep, and when I am stressed, the talking gets out of control...to the point that I will sit up in bed; yell the name of a man whose return I am trying to finish; and then rest my head back on my pillow. I have also been known to ask for cookies and sing songs about flamingos and tee pees. Not a joke. Not an exaggeration. I will sing in my sleep and keep poor J awake half the night. He enjoys recording it to embarrass me later.

10. You mention Spring Break plans with your kids. I mutter the F word and walk away.

Keep It Real...

-It is cold - far too cold for this Bama girl. A few snowflakes spat at me this morning. Seriously, if it is going to be in the single digits, I want some serious snow - a bang for my buck - make the frigid worthwhile - know what I mean? I'm not picking a fight with Mother Nature; I am casually giving her the finger as I shiver all day while NOT looking at a Winter Wonderland outside. 

-People had to sleep in their cars on the interstate last night because of the freaky weather around the Birmingham area. I even have one friend who spent the night with a total stranger. Seriously, I have texted her several times to make sure she doesn't wind up being the victim of a very polite serial killer who served her blueberry pancakes for breakfast.

-There have been a couple of times the last few weeks when I have almost missed car line. I don't miss spending an hour and a half each day driving from school to school, but I do miss playing with the kids as we wait in one line after another. We have taken a lot of crazy selfies. Like this one...

-I might have told a client I was going to put both her kidneys and a chunk of her liver on Craig's List. This might not have been the best way to start a discussion about taxable transactions in Alabama. In my defense, when trying to make sales & use tax seem like a fun topic, use any and all tactics including illegal organ sales. Otherwise, people will glaze over and stop listening about the time I say,

"Nexus."

-Guys, I have reached a level of stress that I normally don't hit until the first of March. I am jumpy and snappy. I am snarky and have been unable to control the sarcasm. If I happen to yell at you for no good reason, ignore me. I will come to my senses in October. Or, I will have to start being medicated next week.

I Did Not...

If my Great Grandmother Grace were still alive, this is a moment she would truly enjoy. I took the children to school while still in my pajamas. I threw on some cardi Ugg boots. This is not the part that would make Grace smile. 

The part where I also put on lipstick, mascara, and properly coiffed my hair is what would amuse her. From the neck up, I looked ready for the day. From what I hear, Grace pulled this trick a time or two herself. She even donned a stylish hat with her gown on occasion. 

The Height of Embarrassment...

You know what is really, really satisfying as a parent? 

That moment when you can pin down a teenager on the sofa for a hug while she looks like she hopes that you vaporize...all while you look peaceful and happy. 

Twilight Zone...I Went There...

A while back I attended a continuing education class in Huntsville. It was a lovely class regarding payroll rules and regulations. Contain your jealously, people. I know you all want to know everything there is to know about statutory employees, but you don't have to beg for it here. 

Anyway, at the mid-morning break, I had to pay a visit to the ladies' room. Imagine the look on my face when I walked inside and was greeted by an entire basket of complimentary feminine hygiene products. I mean, seriously, this was a hotel restroom outside of a CPE class not an encore of The Vagina Monologues.

I felt like I had walked into an Always commercial instead of the ladies' room. Have a happy period, always. Maybe I should send the jack-hole who thought of that slogan this picture along with a pitch for their next commercial. The dowdy accountant steps into the ladies' room only to be magically transformed into a smiling, thin woman wearing fabulous heels while twirling around with excitement over her free goodies. This is not something women are happy about unless the woman happens to have had a drunken one night stand a few weeks back. These Happy commercials fall into the same bucket as Valtrex commercials for me. Those people are running through fields of daisies and look really freaking excited about having herpes. 

On what planet do these commercials increase sales? Don't tell me you have never thrown something (in a fit of PMS) at the TV when you're told to have a happy period. Is a happy period even possible? Happy periods are more like unicorns - they DON'T exist. Am I supposed to feel empowered every time the commercial airs? Guess what, that right there is some business I want to take care of on my own without Regina King's advice. Maybe the person who came up with the Happy Period slogan was tripping on acid at the time....or was suicidal and working from home where his PMS-ing wife walked by and saw the storyboard on his desk. 

Maybe I have thought about this too much.